Here’s why I am happy to post this video: Most people don’t know that I used to work at a place where I taught people how to ride dirtbikes. It was boring as fuck most of the time, watching people literally ride in circles for hours. But teaching someone how to use a clutch might have been the most painful experience to ever besmirch my otherwise awesome existence. Anyone who has ever tried to teach someone from the real world the ins and outs of proper clutch operation knows that it is comparable to teaching an Asian woman how to use a turn signal. They think they get it, and you cannot be any clearer when you tell them how it works, just breaking it down to the absolute basics. Yet still, once they are actually moving, their body goes into complete muscle failure and more often than not, they wind up an ornament in a soon-to-be white trash Christmas tree. I can’t tell you how many times I came close to punching a kid in the face and yelling “Are you fucking kidding me? How are you not getting this right now? Clutch in, bike no go. Clutch out, bike go.” Then they ask what happens when it’s in neutral and I jump in front of a semi truck.
What the fuck? Are we in Narnia?
P.S. I know that these dudes definitely filmed that first part after the fact just to try to be funny. Failure. Hipsters aren’t funny, because that’s way too mainstream.
P.P.S. I know Toms are supposed to be unisex, but come on. Those are ballet shoes with a different label and you know it.
