File under: How contagious is herpes? I know there are big expectations from me on this one. Luckily, I thrive when it comes to crunch time. Normally, it takes me a total of about 30-40 seconds of studying the photo to come up with the description. This one was different. I had this one within 20 seconds. Fucking lay-up.
- Hair – Listen woman, I know you were thinking tiger stripes when you went with that look, but all I’m seeing is those nasty mosquito legs. That combined with all the red is just painting what I am assuming to be a very accurate picture of this girl’s personality. Oh, I get it, you wanted to display your support for native American culture. Yeah, we are totally on the same page.
- The Goods – Jews vs. Muslims, Pepsi vs. Coke, Red Sox vs. Yankees, Real tits vs. Fake tits. It is a battle as long as time itself, or at least as long as silicone has been readily available. Here’s what I can confidently say: These tits are fake as fuck. Like, this girl had no intention of leaving it up to debate. She said to the doc “I want to be walking the line of indecent exposure no matter what I’m wearing.”
- Attire – You know what? It bugs some people, but I like a girl who can pull off a trucker hat. Since this girl has enough make-up on to keep her comfortable in a run down camp on Mt. Kilamanjaro, I’m including it in this category. What the fucking fuck, woman? Looks like you went swimming in the fryolator at In ‘N Out.
- Misc - What’s the over-under on days until this girl is in porn? I have a number in my head, and it is less than zero. Now, here’s a discussion point: What is the verdict on this? For me, a girl in porn is not a turn off. Sure, there are obviously extenuating factors to consider; like, I don’t want to be nailing a crackhead or anything. But purely considering the porn factor, I just think of a girl who knows what she likes regardless of the judgments of contemporary society, and a girl who sees a solid opportunity to make a good living. You go, girl.
Rating: 1/2. Only because I would hate-fuck the daylights out of this chick.