Tag Archives: zach osborne

San Diego For Assholes: 250 Breakdown

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Eazy | Permalink

Pre-race: Erin just said freakish on TV. I bet she’s into some freak ish. And SPEED just created a great new hashtag – #28TylaRattrayProblems

Holeshot: Anderson breaks the JDR/TLD streak on holeshots. They’ve seriously had all of them between Seely, Nelson, and Savatgy

Lap 1: Davalos pulls the You Got Served shit in the rhythm section and gets tossed. But unlimited street cred for break dancing a PC 250.

Lap 3: Talking about how tight the battle for the lead is but we are on lap 3, so… it’s really not that close. Finding things to talk about is hard.

Lap 3 (cont’d): Tomac missed the triple but hit the next berm like it owed him money to save 2nd.

Lap 5: Tomac into the lead. Yellow flags but it’s the pros. The NFG rule is in full effect.

Lap 6: Tomac is throwing one footers all over the place. That’s a dead giveaway of riding like a boss.

Lap 7: Anderson dealing with Roczen while Tomac is out. 2 seconds a lap on JA.

Lap 8: Roczen into 2nd, set Anderson up like he wasn’t even trying. Germans are some crafty mofos.

Lap 9: Showing Cunningham now making the move on Baker for 8th. Have to wonder if the sponsors of that team get pissed that no one actually calls the team by its actual name and still just says Star Yamaha…

Lap 11: Cunningham rhythming through the whoops. That’s always cooler.

Lap 11 (cont’d): Malcolm Stew hits the deck #MalcolmProblems. Davalos is up to 11th now after his lolligagging on lap 1.

Lap 12: Osborne welcoming The Savage to pro life, puts him into the tuff blocks.

Lap 14: Tomac on the #1 plate program, still tossing the buttery one footers for the kids.

Lap 15: No one really talking about it but Roczen is catching Tomac. Like, a lot.

Finish: Tomac took it but Roczen was on him like white on hockey. Wait, what?

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A3 For Assholes: 250 Breakdown

Posted on February 7, 2013 by Eazy | Permalink

Pre-race: I seriously applaud Ralph for saying “250″ instead of “Lites”. Breaking that habit had to be damn near impossible for him.

Holeshot: Joey “The Savage Joey” Savatgy has another one. KTM’s are fast. So is he. That makes it double fast.

Lap 1: Roczen isn’t having any of the Savage. He’s straight into the lead after NFGing the whoops like a boss.

Lap 2: Davalos into 2nd past Savatgy in the whoops. Joey, the secret to hitting the whoops is do better. One love.

Lap 4: Seely and Tomac going at it while slicing through the pack. Throwing down some scrubs, for the kids.

Lap 5: Tomac into 4th, passing Baker. Cunningham is getting into the mix, too, just passed Seely behind them.

Lap 6: Burnouts for the boys by Seely. He went down and basically just wanted to tell everyone else to eat shit.

Lap 8: Tomac passing Savatgy, but Roczen and Davalos are gone. Time to forget whatever fucks were previously given.

Lap 9: “As you can see, Ricky, Marteen is catching Davalos.” No Ralph, but I can see that name talking is hard.

Lap 10: Baker around Savatgy for 5th. Both these dudes are crushing it these days.

Lap 11: Obsorne to the inside of Baker. Travis somehow picked up his foot and saved it from being deleted from existence by the GEICO bike.

Lap 13: Roczen red plate, not a four letter word even in his vocabulary.

Lap 15: Roczen dealing with lappers, clearly hoping they will literally implode on themselves.

Finish: Kenny has had this one since Jump St. He’s now 2-2-2-1-1. Not even bad.

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A1 For Assholes: 250 Breakdown

Posted on January 10, 2013 by Eazy | Permalink

Pre-race: Tomac won this one when his name showed up on the entry list.

Holeshot: Jessy Nelson. Not Cole Seely (Seely was awarded the holeshot award after the race. That happened). Nelson then proceeds to gracefully swan dive into the face of a jump in the first rhythm. The judges give it a 9.5. That judge from China is a dick.

Lap 1: After all the carnage, it’s all Tomac.

Lap 2: Tomac hitting the huge quad. You have to seatbounce that thing so hard you risk your bowels evacuating every lap.

Lap 4: Christian Craig washes out. TLD boys are dropping like flies. Roczen currently running second in front of Stewart and Seely. Tomac has left the building.

Lap 5: The wisdom of RC (regarding Tomac)- “That throttle is either wide open, or it’s not.” I mean, really, that could not be more true.

Lap 7: Seely and Stewart going at it for 3rd. Then Anderson comes in out of nowhere. All of a sudden Malcolm’s all “The shit is going on here?” in 5th.

Lap 8: Best battle on the track is the battle for 6th. It goes Baker, Rattray, Leib, Sipes, Anstie, Cunningham, all in the same section. Not often you find yourself battling for 6th in 11th.

Lap 9: Baker and Rattray dicing it out, Leib capitalizes. Then Sipes dives in and just like that, Baker is cooked.

Lap 10: Leib and Anstie epic battling and every joe in the stands is all “Who the funk is that?” Actually that’s a lie. They are all too drunk to realize there is a moto going on.

Lap 11: Osborne in the mix now, right behind Leib. He’s tossing one footers all over the place so you know he is flowing like the wrong time of the month.

Lap 12: Fro (on the Leib/Osborne battle)- “If I remember correctly, these two came through the amateur system together.” Swing and a miss. They do say memory is the first thing to go.

Lap 14: Tomac crushing it. Get used to this.

Lap 15: Last lap. Mitch has snipers at the ready. You do not beat his team.

Finish: Tomac, Roczen, Seely. Guess the surprise factor was being saved for the 450s. Read more »

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Zach Osborne Moto 4 Full Part

Posted on November 29, 2012 by Eazy | Permalink

Update: They took the video private. Because having one part online was a catastrophe.

As far as I know, this is the first of the Moto 4 segs to surface online. I’m usually not a fan of slow-mo but this is an instance that had it working. I finally got to see the whole flick this past weekend, and suffice it to say I was really, REALLY upset to be stuck in the frozen tundra that is New England after having seen it. Had be fiendin’ to ride; I instead decided to freebase some Ultimate 4 and see where that journey took me.

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Rate That Scrub Showdown

Posted on October 9, 2012 by Eazy | Permalink

The Challenger

Photo by Matt Rice

The Returning Champ

Photo by Stan Leroux

It’s a scrub-off. We got a scrub-off everybody. I spotted the former shot on the interweb over the weekend, from KROC, and immediately thought of the Osborne sicko scrub from a few months ago during the GP season. I mean, being real here, Osborne’s is a clear-cut favorite. But you have to give this other kid some points (I have no idea who it is). Kid is the definition of the scrappy underdog. Old gear and helmet, Gaernes looking like what’s left of a meth addict’s teeth. But he don’t give a fuck, he’ll still toss some shit and knock all of your teeth out while he’s doing it. We’ll take this one to the polls, and I’m going to give the first one to this kid. No name, no problem.

Who ya got?

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Update: Random Hero is actually Scotty Clark. Keep doing you, scooter. I also noticed something that is worth mentioning: A key aspect to any scrub is the plane on which the seat and skidplate line up. Scotty running the more favorable plane. Scotty Skidplates is doing it.

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Rate That Scrub

Posted on July 18, 2012 by Eazy | Permalink
osborne

Photo by Stan Leroux

I actually FB’d this pic yesterday, but it’s RTS worthy for sure. You are looking at Zach Osborne taking the not giving a fuck scrub game to another level. I mean just look at that shit; dude is basically Tebowing the side of his bike on a jump. It might be mid-moto, but it’s never the wrong time to meme the shit out of a perfectly good photo. Like, yeah, you’re double backflips are cool and all, freestyle, but we Tebow race photos like it’s nobody’s business. All there is to it is to just take a knee. On the frame of the bike. While hitting a jump. And there might be a dragon involved, because those things are everywhere in Europe.

I give it a hard 2/2 on the creativity alone.

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UFbrO Video From The GPs With Osborne and Tonus

Posted on December 12, 2011 by Eazy | Permalink

Another video from the weekend. Not even bad at all. A touch long, but that could be a selling point for some of you. I like that Tonus guy, he has good style. His first name is Arnaud, which sounds like the way people always pronounce Arnold Schwarzenegger’s name when they are imitating him, which makes me smile. Read more »

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