Before we get started, you all have undoubtedly noticed that this blog has been on hiatus for a while. I stopped because I got bored of it, simple as that. People came calling, and I realized that this is more important than me. The citizens need the Breakdowns. Because on the inside, we are all assholes (scientifically true, to a degree).
Pre-race: It’s raining. No surprise, Seattle is where Jesus goes to cry. Also, the Fox riders are running #Boston butt patches. Cool as fuck, and a phenomenal way to get chicks to try to click your ass.
Holeshot: Barcia gets it and (spoiler alert) that’s the ballgame. Villopoto got pinballed all over the place but Reed was the one who took the nut-kicking of fate in that fiasco.
Lap 2: Dungey’s number plate got into the mini bar at the hotel by the looks of things. He is actually picking his way through the pack, which he normally struggles to do.
Lap 3: Villopoto around Alessi. The crowd goes a little wild, but not as much as Minni for The Dunge. Can’t blame them, you wouldn’t cheer as loud if your child was a ginger.
Lap 4: It’s lap 4/20 on 4/20. The stands have emptied as everyone rushes to the pizza guy.
Lap 5: Villopoto is struggling with the ruts, but so is everyone else so it’s all good. Fish tail steeze for days.
Lap 8: Villopoto is right there, but Barcia’s brain is good at ignoring riders around him and telling insecurity to fuck off.
Lap 10: Considering the ruts on this track, giving a fuck is not a winning strategy. Wide open coming out of the turns and tracking a rut the whole way. NFG.
Lap 12: Vince has his hands full with Weimer, Brayton, Short, and Tickle on the move. Weimer actually came way through the pack in this race but no one has said anything about it.
Lap 14: This is not the race to fuck up your seatbounces. Shorty demonstrates (he saved it, cool your jets).
Lap 16: Barcia and Villopoto are dialed, they’ve lapped into the top 10.
Lap 17: Millsaps discovering the relentless hazards that are lappers stalling in your rut. No worries for him though since he rides a bike like it’s a tricycle that owes him money.
Lap 19: Weimer just moved into 5th. He started somewhere like 13th. Anytime you pass more riders than the number that beat you, you had a good race. Take that to the bank.
Lap 20: I’d say this is Barcia’s to lose, but anyone who has had a race locked up on a rutty track and fallen on the last fucking lap knows not to count those chickens.
Finish: Oh just kidding, Barcia wins it.