What is this, change? I usually hate change, because it means something different is happening, and I, like all good BROs, hate things that are different, like KTMs, not-America, gingers, and nerds.
But here we have a rhythm section. And it’s straight. Like, no turns whatsoever. A straight rhythm. Whoa, I just blew my own mind. Anyway, Red Bull
Excitebike Straight Rhythm is blowing up the internet right now. Red Bull is always trying to mix things up, whether they be retarded (Parkour shit, Crashed Ice, this thing) or awesome (Rampage, Kluge, X-Fighters minus the wind, anything with Travis Rice).
But this is what motocross needs. Why? Because no one needs to train for a 60-second moto. Listen, I love Ricky Carmichael, and I respect everything he did as a motocross racer. But he ruined it for everyone when he started training his ass off and destroying the whole field. I’m pretty sure that some racers were mid-keg stand and just like “Wait, what? We’re doing that now?” And just like that, the party was over. And I know that some of you Mormon-types are thinking, “No way dude. Motocross is supposed to be intense and gnarly and other stupid adjectives.” Listen chief, we’ll still have the Nationals and regular SX for that crap. This is for guys who like to have fun and can do ridiculous things on motorcycles. And let’s not forget that, on average, riders made a lot more money when people didn’t train as much and drank beers and grabbed the trophy girl’s ass and popped ecstasy before the main event in Vegas and had to pull off halfway through because they were rolling so hard. Now, with Straight Rhythm, it doesn’t matter. Blood dope all you want, Lance Armstrong; it’s not going to do dick. That’s why I like this. I could give a fuck about all the “new” fans that might come in; they all wear fanny packs, anyway.