1. You have more bikes than trophies - Nothing brightens up the race trailer like a 6ft piece of plastic with a spray-painted idol of your grandfather ripping the CZ on the top. But as they say, you’ve gotta spend money to make money. It’s bike city, bitch. The way your 15% off shop sponsor sees it, you need a race bike, a practice bike, a testing bike, and a display bike. You know, for the ambiance.
2. MTF waits for the check to clear - Colleen is a magician, that’s what the people are saying. Your kid gets down there and she sees some serious potential in him. Like this kid is going places…as soon as that $15k gets into the bank account. Make sure to write in the memo line “To basically be deposited in a garbage can”.
3. You have the biggest rig at every race you go to - The best way to get factory is to act factory, no? Stands perfectly to logic, envisioning and living your goal and all that deep bullshit. So your rig spans 100ft and legitimately blocks out the sun for half the dudes at the District Who-Gives-A-Fuck races you go to. Unfortunately if you never make it to a race with the factory big rigs, it’s generally a tell-tale sign that the energy drink checks won’t be taking care of the mortgage payments that you can’t afford anymore.
4. He’s riding Supermini at 6’2″ - Everyone knows that winning a LL championship is the fast track to moto success. Stands to reason, since everyone who’s ever won a Loretta’s championship ever has enjoyed a phenomenal career in MX. But junior can’t ride a 250f for shit and he was killing it on the Supermini last year, so just leave him in the kid class. Who cares if he has a driver’s license now, just means he’s more mature than the competition. Cash money.
5. His kid is going faster than him - Children suck, literally. They are just the vacuum that sucks away all the enjoyment and potential you had in your life. That’s why you threw all of your shit into your kid’s moto career, because if he wins, you win. Well, the second his baby mama refused to “take care of it”, he was fucked. Time to do it all over again with the grand kid. Better get him some arm pump surgery, those PWs can really get you.