Tag Archives: kevin windham

Feast Your Eyes On Windham’s SLC Transfer

I have not been posting K-Dub’s transfers lately, and that’s on me. I dropped the ball. It happens to the best of us. But what a way to get back into it, in the last two weeks that we will likely EVER see the Windham transfers. Look at the steeze factor, enough to shut down anyone on the track. The necessary turndown is a beautiful thing, especially when performed amidst the cavalcade of buttery style that is Kevin Windham.

Here’s some brain food to gnaw on: Every single one of these transfers is basically do or die, at minimum do or break your face and get internal bleeding or something. There were maybe a few when K-Dub was nursing injuries that were mellow, but for the most part, they are gnarly. Forget about the distance, let’s talk about hitting a giant lip from a skewed angle and landing the same way – case it and your are absolute fucking history, because if the case doesn’t break your ankles, the resulting stop-to-stop swap out is going to make your brain and other vital organs take a time out. And Windham has nailed every fucking one of them. He never rolls them (because he can’t), he just does them. I do not give a shit about results anymore. The BOAT: Baddest Of All Time. Read more »

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BRO Learns The Hard Way That He Isn’t Windham

Sometimes, NFG is not your friend. That’s the beauty and the fault of the lifestyle. You know this dude’s conscience was all “Listen chief, let’s take a couple of test runs here. This gap is mellow, we can afford to half throttle it a couple of times.” His response was obviously “Pipe down, conscience. You’re practically science. Nerd.” And then he went and hit it.

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One Year Later: The Art Of Swag With Kevin Windham

Kevin Windham still came out to Oakland even though he is retired. He suited up and did his transfers, purely for the sake of the fans. The man is motocross, and in honor of K-Dub, BRO is reposting The Art of Swag article from one year ago. Probably the best thing I’ve ever written, anyway:

Kevin Windham TransworldFrom Transworld’s Monday Kickstart

Everyone knows that K-Dub is the shit. He is a man among BROs, a connoisseur of killing it. Take a look at this photo; here stands a man who orders a Budweiser, takes it from the bartender, and receives a tip for ordering it. People pay K-Dub to park his car, as well they should. The piece of that shirt that he cut off will later be broken down and used to create only one drop of Sex Panther, which is a lethal dose for men who are not Kevin Windham, who uses it by the bottle, when he is not secreting it from his own skin. His wife would never mistake that bulge in his pocket for what you might mistake it for, because she knows that whatever is protruding from his pocket is much too small. He once asked her to make a sandwich for him, and it was finished on the plate before he finished the sentence.

They say that the beard hair that is not in Windham’s goatee is used to create elaborate furs for Saudi Arabian royalty, effectively making K-Dub’s facial hair the chief American export in the oil trade. His beer gut alone attracts more women per square inch than the entire city of New Orleans. Those women account for over half of the female enrollment of Mississippi State. One time a man tried to dress up as Kevin Windham for Halloween, and the resulting explosion when he put the costume on was filmed as the closing scene in Caddyshack. In that man’s memory, Windham does transfers at every race in opening ceremonies. He does them in the dark because swagger works like sonar, not that he needs it, because he could literally do that shit with his eyes closed. He rides so smooth that Land O’ Lakes once asked him to ride for them. Windham refused, since he prefers Jack and Coke on his pancakes. They still paid him for the privilege of the conversation. This, people, is the art of swag. Don’t try to stop it.

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Rate That Scrub: The Raddest Dude Ever

Rider: Kevin Fucking Windham

Location: Glen Helen ’07

In honor of the glimmering ball of amazing that is Kevin Windham, we are digging into the archives for this special edition of RTS. I mean, this is classic K-Dub – style for days yet not even trying. Guy in the orange is so mesmerized by the vortex at the bottom of his skid plate that he thinks this is a Pink Floyd album cover, and I am legitimately jealous. I mean, you know your scrub is retarded when you could legitimately hand drag the top of the jump with very little effort. The Windham era is over. The Mayans were only a few weeks off.

Final Rating: /2. There is no stopping Windham.

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Another Angle Of Kevin Windham’s Monstrous Phoenix Transfer

By now, you all have seen the preview video but this is a little bit of a better angle. It needs to be said that this was one of the gnarliest transfers I have ever seen. Watching this in practice was one thing, but knowing that he would be doing it in the dark for opening ceremonies seriously had me nervous. Then I shut my hands in the oven twenty times for doubting Windham for even a second. He obviously pulled it off and no one cares where he finished in the main, might as well have been in front of Barcia.

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A Little Phoenix Preview With Kevin Windham

Perfect Windham video. Just jumps into the frame, blows your mind, then cruises out like he was never even there. Windham is like a green beret of awesomeness. Where will he finish in Phoenix? No one cares. He’ll win opening ceremonies, and that’s about half the battle.

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Say It Ain’t So, BRO – Windham Out For The Season

CENTERVILLE, Miss. — GEICO Honda rider Kevin Windham will miss the rest of the Supercross season after suffering several injuries during a crash Saturday in Houston. Attempting to qualify for the ,ain event, Windham was in a pitched battle with James Stewart during a heat race when he came off his CRF450 at a high rate of speed. As a result of the accident, Windham dislocated his right shoulder and sustained damage to his left wrist, left thumb and right hip. Full PR here.

This is a tough pill to swallow. What’s even worse is that I knew this was coming, like when the bully in school tells you in the morning he is going to beat you up at lunch, so you just get to sit there all day and wait in terror, but not without the glimmer of hope that he may forget. That’s what makes it the worst, the hope and the inevitable crushing of that hope.

Usually I would just make a joke like “Windham was simply hitting the ground to rattle the Earth just enough to divert water into a famished wasteland village in Uganda”, but I don’t think I could even think of such a scenario right now. Fact is that now even Windham is out for the last four races. No transfers, no more “Your Love” making the whole crowd stand up at attention more than any race the entire night, and all the more fucks given by the clowns who need not even look that which is Windham in the face.

The good thing is that we know that K-Dub will be back. He showed this season that he is easily as valuable a rider to any sponsor as a Villopoto or a Dungey. Dude is a PR person’s wet dream; the art of swag indeed. So here’s to you, K-Dub, and everyone had better be bumping this song all day at NOLA.

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Get The In-Depth Perspective Of A K-Dub Transfer

There was no transfer this week in Toronto because K-Dub was all fucked up from Indy (that’s what he told us, I don’t believe it. Every time Windham falls, he is actually moving the Earth out of the path of an asteroid. Like a boss.) I always say that I hate posting videos from other media sites, but as far as I know this is the first legitimate video of one of K-Dub’s transfers, so it has to be shown to the world. I feel like it is my responsibility as a mogul to make sure that people see how gnarly Windham is. It also happens to be the craziest one he has done this year, at Dallas.

Is that Pastrana’s mechanic, Hubert, talking about halfway through? That is the type of deep Southern accent that you do not hear everyday. It is basically the voice you expect to hear from the guy who lives in the shack with a bear hide for a door and a roof and an everything else because he lives in a bear hide.

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Toronto For Assholes: 450 Breakdown

RV toronto SXPre-race: Dianna running the fully straight hair today. Fully straight fire is more like it. Add that clip to Boner Jams 2012. Also both Alessi brothers are lined up next to each other to create a black hole of Joe-ness. Their gear is coincidentally black.

Holeshot: Brayton takes it but Villopoto is right behind him so we might as well just pack this one up now.

Lap 2: Villopoto passes Brayton in the second rhythm section. That’s a wrap.

Lap 4: Villopoto gets huckafucked all over the place in the whoops but saves it. Brayton is hanging with Villopoto but anyone who knows what’s what understands that RV has about 10 more bullets in the chamber that he is just saving for when the fast BROs come back.

Lap 6: The top 5 is boring as fuck now other than Windham doing whatever he wants like a boss. Metcalfe and Musquin are battling for 8th, Metty passes Marvin in the whoops, which is pretty much the default pass spot for guys that ride KTMs.

Lap 8: The whoops look gnarly. Some people are pretty much just rolling through the first half of them. Those people are all named Mike Alessi.

Lap 9: Windham almost passes Millsaps for 4th and the crowd goes wild. Even drunk Canadians who have been putting down $10 beers know that Windham is the fucking boss.

Lap 10: Windham gets around Millsaps. Zero fucks given.

Lap 12: Villopoto is pulling away. Shocking.

Lap 14: Fro and Ralph discussing how Villopoto needs wins now. Maybe for the record books, not for the points. He has this one locked up like a Catholic priest who forgot to drug the kids.

Lap 15: Windham passes Weimer for third. Pushing the limits of absolute zero for giving a fuck.

Lap 16: Weimer jumps about a mile off the track, throws a fist pump for the boys. Black panthers!

Lap 19: Villopoto tire tapping the little triple out of the 2nd-to-last turn for the kids. That is all I have to say about the last 4 laps of this race. #lookathowquickthatgrassgrows!

Finish: Villopoto, Brayton, Windham in the top 3.

Post Race: Weimer talking shit on the dudes who roll around in the main. Spot on. If you don’t have 20 laps, you don’t have a Supercross race. Earn that Budweiser, BRO.

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Opening Up The Week With K-Dub’s Indy Transfer

As far as transfers at Supercrosses go, this was as nonchalant as it gets. Just idle up to the jump, BLAP it right at the face, with a seat bounce, and pull a casual whip to land on the berm across the way. If Supercross intros were high school students, this would be the mysterious new kid who plays by nobody’s rules but his own. And chicks hit the floor when he explains how little he cares for the arbitrary regulations of modern society. So cool, BRO. So cool.

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