Let’s be real for a moment – you do not need a reason to clean someone out on the track. You do it because you are bad ass, next topic please. But for those of you with actual consciences that need to rationalize your BRO behavior, we present this top 5:
1. He almost made contact with you – Fuck that, did you see how close that asshole came to scratching your plastic? This is kid is going to go about his lap pretending that he didn’t just damn near scuff your fresh Acerbis, so it is time to get medieval on a mofo.
2. Blocking the guy behind you – Ever seen a chase seen in every cop movie ever made? What is the number one way to elude a pursuer on foot? Run through an old warehouse or something and throw shit in his way. A soiled mattress is to the guy chasing you as a whoop section is to Mike Alessi – literally the last thing he wants to deal with. So it only holds to logic that a similar tactic would work on the race track. Eventually the dude is going to get wrapped up in one of those bodies, just keep at it.
3. You’re in a shitty mood – Nothing brightens up a shit race than taking some slow kid high on a berm and knowing full well that he hit the ground because of you. In your Predator-esque tunnel vision driven by a rage inferno, this idiot just strayed into the wrong place at the wrong time. It was his fault; don’t stand on the tracks when the train is coming through.
4. It’s easier than racing – Maybe you aren’t in the best shape, maybe you are just way out of your element. Regardless, this dude is going to smoke you if you don’t do something about it. The situation is easily remedied by an application of throttle combined with a negative application of handlebar turning, right into that dude’s grillmix. He’s on the ground, and you are arm pumping your way to a 13th. Like a boss.
5. Keeping it real – Nothing is more important than keeping it real. Nothing. If that dude is getting a hot head and riding the course like his shit don’t stink, you have but one option: keep it real.