Video-part motocross is on the rise, people. Good times are coming. Support the riders who are trying to make it happen and watch their shit. Or ride quads, it’s really your choice.
P.S. That ender, though. That ender. Made me want to be a better person and think about donating to charity. Not actually do it, but think doing it and then go buy scratch tickets, because once I win the lottery, then I’ll have way more money to think about donating to charity, right? Rock-solid logic, thank you very much.
I don’t even care that this has the feel of a promo post. This is a true whip contest. Not even a name on there that doesn’t belong, and none left out, either. I love the trash talk, I am so down with a 90-foot hit, and thank whatever Jesus you pray to that there is no fan voting. This will be the most legit whip contest that has ever been held, based on the roster alone. Parsons, Cue, Bereman, McNeil is a contest in itself. I am salesmanning the fuck out of this post right now, but it’s just my own youthful excitement getting the best of me. For once, whips will be judged by how savagely they are thrown, and not by 70,000 idiot teenagers who have been into a Tilly’s before.
By the way, I also am not a fan of the “I popped a Molly and now have a wicked head jerk” whips, but McNeil brings them to a level beyond normal comprehension. He adds a distinct style that I can get on board with.
We’ll get to the rest of X-Games in due time, don’t you worry. But Best Whip must be covered. I came into it with a sour attitude – Brett Cue, Destin Cantrell, Tom Parsons, and Jarryd McNeil were all off the list, so my “Fuck you, ESPN” tunnel vision was not harboring any fucks to give toward the event. But I decided to watch it because as a whip aficionado, I appreciate the craft.
So let’s get right down to brass tax: Hansen’s two best whips were unfuckingbelievable. I say without hesitation the best whips I have ever seen in my life. I immediately spit beer all over the entire bar, just to take another sip so I could spit some more out. Just when I am starting to see Hanny fall out of the limelight, boom, right back in there. I have always avoided voting for Best Whip because I despise the popularity contest decision making, but goddamn if I didn’t pick up the phone then and there and text in my vote, really for the good of mankind, because had Hansen not won that event, I genuinely think people would have rioted, nuclear weapons would have been deployed, and the whole fiasco would have turned into a real shitstorm.
But more to the point, is anyone going to argue against best whip ever? It is obviously pretty impossible to judge when you are talking about different jump sizes and types, but trying to cut out any variables, this has to be on top, right? Like, forget about how backwards and upside down it is, it was just pure style. Completely effortless, basically telling people who try at things that they are dumb and should just exist better. This was Hanny to everyone else on the planet at that moment:
Just saw this video from Twitch. Basically a shitload of whips on big jumps so it is more or less a masterpiece. And shout out to the dude who brought back the turn down with an accidental nac-nac.
People are asking why Hanny isn’t racing. I say his racing days are behind him. It’s time to get video part moto off the ground and Hansen is a prime candidate. Just do whips and shit that makes old guys uncomfortable, get it on camera, and let the sponsors see those exposure dollars roll in. Read more »
So if you didn’t know, this past weekend was the Zwarte Cross in Holland. It is basically some giant heavy metal festival surrounding a moto race in which everyone is super hungover/still totally blasted. I had heard of this event last year when Hanny went over for it, but this year I am doing the research and I have to say it is just further proof that America, while inherently better than not-America, was founded by prudes. You go to a race in America and you get booted for raising it up on a 110 (like a boss) and are forced to sneak back into the pits (also like a boss). Over in Europe, if you aren’t wearing a viking helmet made out of the bones of the mastodon you killed last night in a drunken stupor, you’re a joe, so just get out of the way. It’s like while we say – “Hey, there’s people drinking at my motocross race,” they say – nothing because they are too busy getting hammered to the wall. Like if you watch these videos, everyone is actually speaking perfect English, they just have a mouthful of beer or vodka or goat’s blood at all times, which slurs their speech a tad.
If you really want the YouTube Zwarte Cross experience, here is a 26 minute video entirely in Dutch of the mayhem (and a much better shot of that crash at the 10:28 mark):
Because moto is punk rock as fuck and hip hop as shit. At the same time. H&H has been gaining tremendous points with me lately – first they sign Hansen, then they ditch the black bikes, now they sign my dude Kyle Regal, who also does not give a fuck, in case you hadn’t heard.
Oh, you don’t follow BROtocross on instagram? What a shame…
DS164 has been continuing the BROCal adventure without me this week, and, as you can see, is not really missing a beat without the leadership of his fearless captain with this vid from Starwest. He told me I was not going to like this video because he was using a Sam Adams song. As usual, I thought he used the song well. That kid always does this, takes a song I don’t like and makes a dope video out of it. I will not download this song. I will not download this song….
Speaking of Sam Adams, in Cali at a Chile’s, DS164 left my number on a receipt for our waitress and labeled it as “Boston’s Boy”. He honestly thought for sure she would be calling. She did not. That never works.
You know, I hate being late to the game with videos like this. But, come on, if they expect me to get up early and throw this shit up, they are forgetting what BRO is really all about. Regardless, this video is pretty high on the nice scale. No SX test tracks within sight; just the BROs doing their thing. I don’t understand why companies do not regularly put out videos like this. Seriously, think about the brand recognition that Shift is getting from this video; it is way more than a magazine ad.
Hanny’s opposite turndown whatevers are what I like to see in a dunes video. I can honestly say that every time Hansen shows up on the internet I like him more. And Josh Hill back on the scene. I know that Josh knows how to get down so it is good to see him not crashing then looking like a stuffed animal that your dog just got finished with.
This may be way too much to hope for, but please tell me that H&H is going with green bikes this year. Black bikes are just the worst. Read more »