James Stewart is claiming (but not really) that he is in for Hangtown now. And all my sources (which I may or may not have made up, you’ll never know) say there is not a chance it is on a JGR bike. We know that James has had a Suzuki at his house this whole year just cold chilling in the garage, waiting for his Yamaha to reject him the way it always does, like a heartless bitch.
Pretty much everyone is tweeting/emailing this to me saying “Of course he’s in now that RV is out.” Who gives a fuck? Seriously BRO, who gives a fuck? Now the nationals are going to be better, that’s all there is too it. Even if for just one race (provided James actually shows up), they will be better. Like I said before, James needs the outdoors to calm himself down; there is way more room for error out there so he can get himself away from the code red that is undoubtedly going off in his brain 24 hours a day right now. And at least now we have James and The Dunge to hold down the 450 class. I really don’t think that Dungey has anything for Stewart if James is riding 100%, but that’s an “if” the size of Khloe Kardashian’s stack of McDonald’s receipts.
The toilet bowl that is the internet is swirling with rumors this week that James Stewart was released from the JGR contract and is riding Suzukis (again) in prep for the Nationals. JGR has since denied the rumors but can we really believe anything we hear from anyone these days? It’s like the term “official statement” these days has become synonymous with “Listen to me spin a web of lies, puppets.” If there is one thing I have learned since becoming a moto mogul, it is that you cannot always believe what you read in a press release.
People seem to think that James getting off a Yamaha is the secret to him getting back to where he was at in ’08. The argument holds some weight to it; racers generally do better when a change is made simply because they know a change has been made. The psyche of a motocross rider is very delicate – most of these guys would snap into Vietnam flashbacks if you dropped a pot behind them. And James is the most delicate of them all; a journey into the mind of James Stewart would probably be like taking a bus into Mexico – you have no idea what the hell is going on, there are lots of voices that you cannot understand, and for some reason there is a goddamn chicken running around with its head cut off. I firmly believe that his string of crashes is much. much more rooted in his mental game than in his equipment.
But I think the real key to Bubbsy getting back to where he needs to be is to ride the outdoors. James has proven that he is completely incompetent as a Supercross-only rider. His only success doing so was in 2009, and that does not actually count because he rode the outdoors in 2008. James now rides very erratically (like a chicken with its head cut off) and it would be much easier to polish that outdoors than it would indoors. He’s always done way better outdoors, anyway. Take Carmichael out of the picture and James has only lost like 5 races outdoors. Supercross-only has really worked for three riders: McGrath, who is a boss; Windham, who is a boss; and Reed, who is also a boss and decided to ride outdoors anyway to further demonstrate his boss nature, similar to Windham last year. It works for Hansen too because he hit the jackpot with his relationship with Monster. They resurrected him (or told Mitch to do it or they’d pull the plug on the team). But Hansen’s a boss, too, so we are kind of tracking a pattern here. James – not a boss. Boss abilities on the bike, for sure, but not a boss. Bosses don’t crash every race, they win races then pay dudes to crash for them. Like a boss.
So since BROtocross is basically the TMZ of moto because everyone else is too much of a bitch, I tweeted yesterday that I had it on good authority that J-Law was testing with JGR. People got all excited, and Jeremy Albrecht quickly got in on the Twitter action and said it was not true. I asked the tipster several times if he was sure about what he said, which he claimed he was. Albrecht would obviously know, since he is the team manager, but this is the report I got from a close confidant (unedited, as you can tell):
Joe Gibbs son Coy is a huge jlaw fan. Before the arma Suzuki deal j law was testing Gibbs shit for his own team, then he went with arma and then stopped racing because the cocksucker who ran the arma team wouldn’t give jason anything but a stock 450 to practice on and Jlaw couldn’t get the parts from him that he wanted. Reason being why he didn’t show up at rd 1 at hangtown because he pretty much told the guy to fuck himself, that’s when he decided he needed a break from riding, he rides every single day, and still has his arma bikes. But anyway I know coy pretty well because I stayed at Gibbs WITH jason when he was testing their stuff on Yamaha. And Coy asked me how jLaw is doing and I told him he’s just riding and chillen with his little Brother. And Coy wanted me to tell him to get down here because Coy wants to put him on one of his bikes. I told jlaw and he immediately was so stoked, said he’s ready to race again all because his little brother called him a fuckin loser and he said it bothered him SO much. And he called coy talked to Coy, and Coy is having jLaw come down to Gibbs after SX to get him on a bike for outdoors.
There you have it, that was the e-mail I got. Do with it what you will. This is the nice thing about BROtocross, I can post whatever the fuck I want. It could be bullshit, it could be legit. I don’t know. I am totally clean in this matter. J-Bone did say that J-Law is not testing with the team, but he did not mention anything about the future, and upon my second reading of this e-mail, I saw that it actually says that Jason will be testing with them, not is testing with them. I still say that I would be amazed to see Jason come back, and twice as amazed to see him under the JGR tent. I would say if anything, he’ll be a privateer with some JGR support. Regardless, BRO loves to stir the pot, so have at it, Joes.
James and Malcolm came out with this little number over the weekend. Not much else to say other than both riders look like they are fucking moving. Just a couple of BROs having a good time and hauling the mail. I feel like this is the right kind of practice for James; he can send Malcolm over a berm and it is no big deal. Who cares if it is awkward when you park the bikes? Even at their most tense, fisticuffs between BROs pretty much just consists of a couple of slaps and then maybe a loogie in the breakfast, but that’s all. Nothing James can’t handle. In the meantime, he gets to use Malcolm as a punching bag on the track while Malcolm gets to practice with a rider that could destroy even his fastest competition, and he also gets to try to send James into next week in every turn because what is James going to complain about? Pretty good formula.
By now, everyone has seen this already. A bit late to the game, but a good video, solid edit; it belongs on BRO. I must say these satellite teams are catching the factory guys with their pants around their ankles. I have been saying since YouTube was invented that the way to operate your team from a PR standpoint is to produce web videos and shove them down everyone’s throats. You know how many people read those press releases you guys put out every week? Probably like four or five. This is America in the 21st century – reading is basically for geriatrics and failed Presidential candidates. Video is where it’s at. If I was operating a team, you had best believe we would be producing some Spielberg shit at least twice a month.
By the way, how psyched is Millsaps to be running a Bell helmet now? I know a few people who sport the AGV, but in my opinion those things are ugly fucking helmets. The mouthpiece on one of those looks like a huge gaping vagina something else that is very large and unpleasant.