So as some of you may know, this was how I spent my Sunday this past weekend. I have never done a woods race before, and haven’t touched anything but a track in about 7 months. Add to that mix GNCC BROs like Nate Kanney, Chris Bach, Johnny Girroir, and the moto shredders Robby Marshall, Mike Sottile, and Jake Abbott, and you see what I was dealing with. Needless to say, I was the favorite to win the pro class. I probably would have, too. I may or may not have been (read: definitely wasn’t) murdering the field when I got a flat tire two laps in to both motos (they run 30 minute motos at JDay, it’s like an MX and GNCC cocktail). Had it been a rear flat, I surely would have just bossed it out and finished the moto and collected my money. It was a front flat though, and I decided that there was a legitimate chance that the actual GNCC BROs might kill themselves if I beat them with a front flat, so I gave it to them. I don’t need that shit on my conscience.
Let me tell you though, this trail racing shit is no joke. I fully expected to just be San Francisco cruisin’ down the trails, tire tapping some roots and just having a generally good time keeping the flow. It wasn’t like that. Rocks everywhere, and I am pretty sure they were covered in ice even though it was like 90 degrees out, because I could literally go from all good to perpendicular to the trail in about a tenth of a second (and I did that, several times). Then there are these GNCC dudes who just cruise over everything like giving me a middle finger isn’t enough (although the Massholes Robby Marshall and Mike Sottile were showing everyone what’s up, straight off the MX track and into the woods like it was nothing.)
And as you may have noticed from the video, the moto hoes are definitely present in the woods genre, as well. Fast dudes get the fast chicks. I would drink fermented cat piss just to smell the gym shorts of the chick who was with the dude who won. Like a boss.
Check out JDayOffroad.com for more info about the series.
