Now, I don’t speak French, but I am 95% sure this dude converted to English when Weimer crashed. Goes from perfectly incomprehensible Euro jabber to a very coherent “Oh shit!” just like that. Weimer wound up winning the race anyway, and no one cares about the fastest lap except nerds. Although, Tomac was going fast as fuck. He could pull so many chicks in France if he wanted to after this lap, but he probably just went to bed early and pounded out 500 miles uphill on the road bike in the morning while also preparing his tax forms for the end of the fiscal year.
I really wanted to save this for next week, but so many people have sent me these two shots in the past couple of days that it just had to be done. You need to strike when the iron’s hot, and I couldn’t let these ones cool down too much. So here we have it, a double RTS showdown week. And this time, it’s personal.
We have a real RTS of Nations on our hands now, with the American favorite Cole Seely, fresh off getting his internal organs whack-a-mole’d into the some weird hospital employee’s basement, and the challenger from America’s favorite hat, Jeremy Medaglia. This youngblood has been throwing down for years and doesn’t give a fuck how close his throttle gets to the ground, because that’s what being a boss is all about. As for the scrubs, you can’t ignore the fact that Medaglia is about halfway through his arc and still close enough to the ground to kill a stray infant. But Cole has the scrub form totally dialed. Weight back, bike flat, swagger for days, as if to say “I’m better than you, and I know it.” Fuck yeah America, fuck yeah. Polls are open…
I am so happy to open up MXdN week with a video like this. It just lets the rest of the world know that the reason we are going to win is because if you are from the United States, you’re a complete savage. That’s why every Euro who comes racing over here says the pace is what really catches them off guard. Not giving a solitary fuck from the drop of the gate is something that they are not used to. I mean, really, who is going to stop us? Herlings is seriously the only guy I’m worried about, but the Dutch team is going to be way too baked to put together solid enough motos all around to beat the unrelenting juggernaut that is America. Cue the theme song (The first of many times posting this during MXdN week):
So Chaparral is getting back in the mix with Shorty. Turns out winning races attracts sponsors. Just hop on that bandwagon and ride it out, that’s first day shit in Sponsorship 101.
How pissed are the BROs at Supercross.com? Just dump all this money into this team, then drop it because the results weren’t really coming in with an injured rider and why the hell does a website need to have a race team, anyway? Then he goes and wins. Legitimately one of the most “out-of-nowhere” wins in recent history, too. That’s the type of win that makes those people think “Wow, maybe we are just catastrophic failures.” Then you go to comfort them and it’s like “Short won a race when we left his team,” and all you can say is “Shit, maybe you guys are the anti-success.” Don’t worry BROs, you still have that Amanda chick providing the sex appeal. I mean, every rider in the pits will drop what they are doing to do an interview with a chick they want to fuck, that is just a fact, regardless of marital/relationship status. Gotta love MX. And tits.
Torrance, CA: Team Honda Muscle Milk announces today that current GEICO Honda rider Wil Hahn will fill in for Team Honda Muscle Milk rider Trey Canard at select Supercross races beginning with the Toronto round. Team Honda Muscle Milk would like to thank the Troy Lee Designs/Lucas Oil/Honda team and all their sponsors for allowing Cole Seely to fill in aboard the factory CRF450R. Seely will now begin preparing for the final rounds of the Lites West class.
This video has been out for almost a week, but I am pretty sure most people did not realize that he’s on a factory Honda. My eagle eyes saw it right away, I just did not think to post it. I feel like most people did not know that Cole Seely was only on the factory 450 through Indy. I feel that because I did not know that, and I generally know everything. Anyway, Wil Hahn is taking over and keeping the streak alive of cool dudes on Trey’s bike. Though his ways of courting women are reportedly a bit cavalier to say the least, Wil is a funny dude and a solid ripper for these dudes. Someone has to hold up the humor level of that semi, because Brayton and his eyebrows sure as shit are not doing it.
This weekend one of the BROs and I were discussing Justin Brayton, and he was arguing that the dude should not have a factory ride, citing his exceptionally boring demeanor off the bike (and on the bike, for that matter). I mean, Brayton is as vanilla as it gets, but the dude should have a factory ride. I mean, I would love nothing more than to see a guy like Hanny or Stroupe on a factory Honda, but Brayton gets results and does not say two words beyond “Thank you” in the pits. The dude is more programmable than a three year old when you have a lollipop in your hand. He is zero risk for Mr. Honda, and that guy’s a pussy.
From Racer X – We have received word from a source close to the situation that Trey Canard did break his collarbone. We will continue to update the story as we find out more.
It hit the Twitter feeds late last night, and it has since been confirmed. People might expect me to make fun of Trey here, but I am not going to. Trey is probably my favorite ginger. That may seem a little like saying someone is my favorite neo-Nazi, but it is true that Trey can hold a conversation past “Um yeah, um, wait, no.” I think Trey’s gingerness is what really holds him back for fans; throw Dungey’s looks in with Trey’s demeanor and you will have a Justin Bieber of moto type thing going on (although Roczen already owns that title). Anyway, I am hearing some people say that he will be back for A1, which is exactly what Villopoto did a few years ago when he broke his collarbone in December, so there is still hope. I am struggling to remember a rider who has been hurt as many times as Canard that is still competitive every time he comes back. Anyone? Trey has some of the Windham-style to him, which probably contributes to his ability to get wrecked and spend 6 months in rehab and comeback with podium speed. He is also one of those Jesus types, and that dude pretty much just passes out good vibes everywhere he goes from what I hear.
From MotoOnline – Carlton Dry Honda Thor Racing has officially announced that 2004 MX2 Motocross World Champion Ben Townley will ride in Australia full time next season. Townley will join British MX1 Motocross Champion Brad Anderson at the factory Honda team, with the duo to contest the Open class onboard Honda’s CRF450R. “It has taken some time to reach this point,” Townley admitted. “I was intent on racing in the USA again but things didn’t work out there, and during that time I’d had on going talks with Yarrive about racing for Carlton Dry Honda Thor Racing if things didn’t work out in America.
Am I the only one who is scratching his head with this? Like, Townley is fast, why does he need to be fucking around in Australia? I feel like Ari Gold when he met Lloyd’s boyfriend – BRO, you could get girls, what are you doing? I get it that he shit the bed last year, but he was racing in Europe so he was way too depressed to perform on the motorcycle. Where would you rather be racing? Sunny SoCal, or some war-torn slum in Yugoslavia? It is clearly going to affect your attitude out on the track. The reason that Townley was good in the GPs before was because he had not tasted the sweet nectar of American life yet.
But, do not think that I have missed the fact that Townley is riding for a beer company. You know that took some of the sting out of signing a contract in not-America. Oh, have fun with cases stacked to the ceiling of your energy poison, BROs, I am going to have a beer or twelve out on the beach. Beer companies really should be in MX. Riders drink that shit much more often than Monster or Rockstar, you can take that to the bank.