If you’ve been missing all the X-Games stuff like me, then here’s a little gift for you – the only X event that is actually worth watching, in the highest of definitions (if it’s 1984), 240p. If you don’t speak nerd, that basically means that someone took a bunch of photos with a disposable Kodak and stitched them all together into a video. Nonetheless, it’s a series of monster whips for the fans to enjoy.
I will never stop declaring my undying hatred for the fan voting system in Best Whip, although I think Torronteras was one of the best (Pages won it in my opinion). But ESPN views this event as a sideshow, as an opportunity to engage fans while they kick back in their corporate big wig chairs and count stacks of money while they smoke cigars and run their hands up and down their suspenders. Nothing against Hanny or Twitch (Hansen’s whips were right up there in this one), but Best Whip should not be about how many instagram followers you have. That’s what I see, ESPN, that’s what I see. Eazy, out.
I don’t know about this one. I mean, Brett Cue might have dope whips, but how many times has he been on cable television? That’s the real indicator of a gold medal quality whip, according to the mayor of sportsland, ESPN. But seriously, I want to help this kid out. Even though the X-Games have been totally lame since they got rid of rollerblading and kayak bungee and skydiving and rock climbing and super modified shovel racing and rollerblading and street luge and skiblade racing and barefoot waterskiing and rollerblading, I still think Best Whip could be cool if the corpo BROs realize that the mockery they are making of an otherwise cool event might be the most detrimental thing to happen to moto since Bret Michaels was born. So let’s see some fresh faces get the chance to throw down. BRO is here to change the Best Whip game for better and for always.
This dude wants to get into freestyle now, but I say fuck freestyle and just do whips. Only trick you really need in your arsenal is two different whips and you are set in my book. Good video, though; seeing a freestyle video that’s produced outside the Inland Empire feels like a Loch Ness monster sighting.
If I saw that helicopter come at me over the treeline, I would probably shit. Thing looks like it is straight out of one of the Terminator movies or something. I generally think that stock freestyle is pretty boring, but throw the Terminator helicopter in the mix and we are really rolling. Ramps = stock freestyle. Always.
From Craigslist – hey everyone looking to start metal mulisha enthusiast riding group. This would be almost like a club but not quite. we would meet for rides maybe attend events all depending on the group. we would have mulisha patches and things like that but no “MC” patch. if anyone is interested in joing (sp) me in this email me and let me know. - firstname.lastname@example.org
I get a ton of e-mails about dumb Craigslist postings and usually ignore them. I mean, Craigslist might be the retard capital of the internet; I’m pretty sure Craig wears a helmet to eat his soup. I could easily post 10 ads a day from Craigslist and turn this site into just that, another idiot’s “Make fun of other idiots on Craigslist” blog. But I don’t want that to happen.
So having said all that, I had to post this one. Seems pretty straight forward, just a BRO who has no friends looking for more Metal Mulisha BROs to go to bars with and tell girls they ride, provided they grow the courage to actually talk to girls. Those BROs usually just head over to the bar and expect chicks to talk to them, and when it doesn’t happen, they say the place is dead even if there is pussy up to the rafters. Then they all go home and whack off while watching some Crusty Demons shit. Now that’s a Saturday night. Personally, I can’t sign up fast enough. I included the email for all you BROs to sign up, too. Or send asian porn viruses. Your pick.
This Sherwood kid is hot shit. Just a young FMX shred with style for days. He is part of the new crop of rippers, racers and freestyle BROs, that just don’t give a fuck. I would put money on it that he slays pussy. Chicks see him do that scorpion shit and he is in there like swimwear.
Since X-Games are the only time that snowmobiles have any cultural relevancy outside of Canada and the northern most states that society never pays any attention to, we will indulge them with one more BRO post. I mean, freestyle snowmobilers are as BRO as they come. The BRO model helmet was designed by a snowmobiler. If that is not your stamp on an entire generation, I don’t know what is.
Anyway, when I first heard “snowmobile front flip”, I knew the event was a must see because I have never seen a person actually die from being so BRO, a true BROverdose, if you will. Like, guys on bikes struggle to do the front flip, how in K-Dub’s great beautiful universe is this dude supposed to flip something that has the maneuverability of an urban assault vehicle from the 1960s. Well, color me shocked when the dude actually stuck the landing with his ski tips up. I think everyone was amazed and almost everyone was equally disappointed, because this one had legendary BRO injury written all over it. But, the worst thing that could have happened would have been something like Levi Lavallee’s first double flip, where he crashed but still claimed that he made it because he got it around. I honestly would have hoped for a 747 captained by a man named Al-Saudi Arabia to come bombing into Aspen had that gone down again.
So DC is sponsoring magicians now? Christ, they are really trying to hit the market from every angle. I have to be honest, I skipped the whole video until I saw some evidence of riding, so it is very possible that I missed a lot of what is going on here. Seriously, I think I got the gist of it just from watching the 30 seconds that I did: Freestyle BRO hits a jump, explosion, BRO gets sucked into an alternate universe, another explosion, BRO emerges from said universe into initial universe, BRO is smoking like a Thanksgiving turkey after you light it on fire. I am not sure that this qualifies as magic, though. Like, this seems like it would be the scientific discovery of all eternity. You figured out how to make an asshole transcend the boundaries of time and space. People win Nobel Prizes for that shit. Read more »
I am not the biggest freestyle guy in the bunch, but Brody Wilson gets some love because he is from Mass and his name is BROdy. Video is not even bad, either. Also the tattoo discussion is as BRO as it gets. Read more »