This one just swooped in over the weekend and the industry is abuzz. Helmet throwing fights tend to do that to people. There is so much more to appreciate in this video, though; the huckabuck across the lane to the head on collision with the unsuspecting angry kid was a goodie in an of itself. But then he does his best to walk it off and count to ten without having a temper control incident, but just like when your woman burns the meatloaf, sometimes violence is the answer.
By the way, how fired is the photo guy missing all of this? Like hello, BRO, you have a DOT-approved game of dodgeball happening right behind you but you refuse to stray from that glimmering example of moto that is the 15ft table? Rookie maneuver, dude.
Fun little scuffle down at Mesquite MX. I’m pretty sure there’s some serious Lord Of The Flies shit happening down there because everyone in that fight looked either 40 or 14. I think the best part of it all was the abundant use of the word “motherfucker”. There’s two ways to say motherfucker – like a black person, or like a white person – and saying it like a white person is always hilarious. It’s like watching white people try to dance; you can tell that they know how awkward it feels, but goddamnit if they aren’t trying. Very similar to when painfully distinct white people drop the N bomb, which of course occurs at the beginning of part 2. They’re just a bunch of Janowskis out there. Black people let it flow so much nicer. The “r”s really kill the effect, mothafucka.
P.S. I am just realizing that the headline may be a bit misleading. This was a giant brawl of normal sized white people, not an average size brawl of giant white people. Apologies for any confusion.
You know, for all the times I can recall seeing a couple of dudes duke it out at the track (or better yet, on the track), I can’t think of any that involved this many BROs. Like, even the chick – BRO. I hated everyone in this video. The old guys suck, the young guys care way too much about what’s going on, and that bitch in the pink needs to have her vocal cords removed ASAP. Best part of the video: I’m 95% sure this happened during a practice. I’m sure the Cali BROs can lend some knowledge, but this definitely looked like a practice on the course. Meaning that all of these ‘tards got that upset over something that happened in practice. Fighting in that scenario may seem like NFG, but it couldn’t be more on the opposite side of the FG spectrum.
P.S. Having said all that, gotta respect the kid in the Shift gear. Dude would not quit, and those older guys could have completely rocked him. Do you, BRO. Do you.
Loved the way it started, hated how it turned out. I mean, if you are going to go straight for the kick to the face, it usually means that you genuinely want to hurt the other guy. You have to respect that. No bullshit “fighting for the sake of fighting” mindset, the dude was out for blood. I mean, he was probably going to win that race, and everyone knows that the factory scouts are watching what goes down at nothing races that no one cares about, so it was totally warranted. Curbstomp that bitch all the way back to the Bultaco days. But then it quickly became apparent that neither of the two fuckwads knew how to fight when they wound up in what legitimately could have been a loving embrace as much as it could have been a scuffle. Perhaps there is more to the story than we are getting here, as these two lovebirds are hashing out some serious relationship problems on and off the track. Maybe it really doesn’t get better.
Kudos to the camera guy, and best wishes on recovering from that seizure.
It’s not everyday that you witness a legend being born, but I think that is what we are seeing in the promoting business with this event. This guy just watched Fuel TV for about 18 hours, put his hands out in front of him, palms up as if he was holding something in each and said: “UFC. Motocross.” Then he slowly interlaced his fingers and started shaking and fire started shooting out of his eyes and there might have been a dragon involved.
It’s perfect, action coming out the ass. Dudes fighting, dudes hitting jumps and getting super radical in the air; even the announcer doesn’t know how to control the mayhem, he’s all over the place. Just stumbling over his words as he tries to focus my attention on one aspect of the show. But it’s never going to happen, chief. I got this guy beating up this guy and then I got this guy doing a cliffhanger over both of them, what do you want from me? I wish my mind was my dick because it is sufficiently blown.
So I posted just the fight video from this altercation a few weeks ago, but just saw this full video. I think seeing everything build up to the fight just makes it a thousand times better (and I use the term “fight” pretty liberally here, since helmet cam dude got his ass handed to him by the sound of it). Everything about beer-gut BRO’s posture just says “Fuck off, mate”. He’s just cruising trails and not trying to give any hot shot kids the chance to interrupt that. Helmet cam BRO should have realized it after his first few comments that this dude is not here for any bullshit. He’s here to kick ass and mountain bike, and you just made him drop his mountain bike.
I love how this video is titled “Assault”. BRO, your mouth wrote a check that your ass couldn’t cash, simple as that. Save that talk for the people who give a fuck. Genius to cover the cam up, though; BRO could have just as easily fallen down the mountain and been screaming at the bushes to fuck off for all we know.
This fight is such a let-down. First of all, why would you get into a fight in the stands? That right there says that you are really just a bitch who wanted to talk shit and got yourself in way too deep, same with the other guy. Take it outside and bring some glass shards or trash cans or other makeshift weapons into the picture like real sickos. I will give credit for ruining the experience for the fans around you though; that is mandatory action for a BRO who has been crushing $10 Budweisers all night. Everything that you do is more interesting than everything that happens on the track, anyway.
P.S. I have no idea how anyone could have the stones to take a swing at Monster shirt guy. Like, you are staring in the face of a guy who has clearly marked how legit he is, and you still think you can fight him. True balls of steel.
P.P.S. Upon further inspection, dude who took a swing at Monster guy is clearly decked out in Rockstar apparel. So he has the proper street cred to be actin’ a fool up in this bitch.
We are going to ease into the week with a little non-moto for the kids. One of the NZed BROs sent this over this weekend and while the actual footage was not much to get excited about, the guy in yellow is a boss for the hall of fame. GoPro dude definitely thought that since he is the faster rider that he could just run this show like usual. But homie don’t play that game. Mess with the bull and you get the horns. Even though we can’t see any of the actual fight, the old dude in yellow won, no question. Sent that bitch home with his tail between his legs while he continues to casually walk his bike up mellow inclines. Like a boss.
This would be perfect to post simultaneously with “The BRO Experience In Oakland”, but I am going to hold off on that. This is Oakland Supercross for you, though. A bunch of people getting pissed off and bottles rolling around in the midst of things is to Oakland as doing butt whips and supporting terrorism is to quad riders. As far as fights go, this one was shit. When the idiot kid is yelling “Hit me”, that was the other BROs cue to knock that clown into next week. I mean, he is literally asking for it. Better yet, he is demanding it. The bottles rolling around were great because they gave all of us viewers the hope and expectation that eventually one of those things was going to make its presence known with a crack to another BRO’s face. Of course, the only bottle we see is the pathetic BRO trying to break one so he can bottle everyone else like a boss, but epically failing because he sucks and probably can’t satisfy his girlfriend.
I would certainly be remiss to ignore the female segment of the fight video, but again it sucked. Ghetto fat bitch versus potentially hot bitch always goes the same way – we all know what we want to happen and we all know what is going to happen and they are not the same thing. Girls always have the dumbest trash talk, too. “Bitch you probably don’t even have a kitchen.” “What girl? My house is only a kitchen.”
We can assume two things with near complete certainty from watching this video: Both of these kids have never raced an arenacross before, and they both watched Fight Club to get psyched for the race. They crash and both have Brad Pitt leaning over their shoulder (because he’s not really there. Oops, spoiler alert) saying “If this is your first night, you have to fight.” I am Jack’s smoked clutch. Because Jack’s a fucking Joey.
Like BRO, this is an arenacross; if you don’t get taken out or take someone out, you should take a look around because you are probably the only idiot on the track. Kid with the GoPro won the shit out of the scuffle, though, right when he claimed it with the gesture after the other BRO hits the ground.
And dude at the start just does not have nuts anymore. They exploded.