From ABC – A California man blames his motorcycle seat for a painful erection he said lasted nearly two years. Henry Wolf, 52, is now suing BMW of North America, the motorcycle’s manufacturer, and Corbin-Pacific, the maker of the seat, for lost wages, medical expenses and emotional distress. According to his attorney, Vernon Bradley, Wolf took a four-hour ride – two hours each way – on his 1993 motorcycle on May 1, 2010. After the trip, he developed priapism, a prolonged, unwanted, persistent and painful erection of the penis that for Wolf has lasted 24 hours a day since the ride. “It’s very embarrassing, and all kind of problems developed,” Bradley told ABC News. “He had to reconfigure his clothing, and going to the bathroom was a problem.”
This story is going big on the internet right now. Not MX but a bunch of people have sent it to me so I’ll take that as the go ahead to start talking about it. In America you can pretty much sue anyone for anything, and moreover you can pretty much win any legal dispute regardless of how absurd your claims are. However, this is still a head-scratcher to me. Half of this guy’s claim is that he had a permanent boner, and I get it that it would be tremendously inconvenient to walk around all day with a loaded gun ready to pop off in the trousers. But this dude is 52. I’m pretty sure there are 52 year olds that would kill for that sort of problem. Which leads me to the second claim in the lawsuit, which is that now the guy cannot get a boner. So you are telling me that after 2 years, your boner just up and vanished? Sweet BRO, or it’s just that you are 52. There is a multi-billion dollar industry built around the fact that old guys like you don’t think their wives are hot anymore. Everyone always needs a scapegoat in this country. Investigating this case should take about 10 minutes: dude was getting some on the side (or developed a porn addiction), so he was psyched about it all the time and skipping work to fuck his new chick, then that ended and his fat wife grew suspicious as to why he couldn’t ever get it up anymore, and it was the motorcycle? Sorry BRO, but I’m on to you.