This Doug Henry backflip video hit the net earlier this week, but for some reason it was uploaded to Facebook, presumably in a feeble yet sadistic attempt to make people cut themselves to ease the pain of using the Facebook video player. Luckily, one rogue Samaritan threw it up on the YouTube, so now BRO can give it to the fans.
Doug Henry is tough as shit. Obviously, he’s from New England. Everything we do up there is about being better than the rest of the country. And I know you all are about to argue that your region is better, so I meet you with this question: Where is Doug Henry from? Exactly. We’ll see you all from the top step of the podium at the Bad Ass Motherfucker World Championships. Read more »
Now that’s just straight fire. Like, even people who don’t ride a motorcycle should be able to respect that. It’s one of those tricks that you could have told me about last week and I would have dismissed it as impossible. Even all the old racer guys who get pissed off when I talk about anything freestyle have to respect this, I think. You have to be a complete sicko to try shit like this. Goddamn Japanese, no wonder they housed us at Pearl Harbor. Did you know that “Kamikaze” literally translates to “Not a single fuck given”? True story, look it up.
When this video was sent to me and I read “720″, I was hoping for a real 720. This is obviously exactly like the trick Travis does, but I already had the rant in my head, so here we are. For those that are not aware, X-Games is way earlier this year. In fact, the event is next week, which means it is time to get amped up for every BROs favorite moto discipline: Best Trick. Seriously, as much as I hate Best Trick, I love it. Either someone is going to land something epic or someone is going to destroy themselves, and even sometimes it is both. As far as I know, Travis is not competing this year, so this Aussie Best Trick specialist is picking up the pieces, going for that weird mega-corked 720 thing.
I know everyone loves Travis, but if I was a freestyle guy, I think I would hate him. He just constantly kills the curve; doing tricks that no one, including him, would ever want to do. He’s like the kid who actually does his homework on the weekends. Sick BRO, I was out getting loaded off my face all weekend like a normal person. If everyone would just chill out and collude a little, we would all be having more fun. Except the fans who watch for the crashes, and that is probably around 60% of the reason that I watch Best Trick anyway. I mean, ESPN knows damn well what they are doing when they offer a spot to some backwoods in-bred mountain man who has hit a ramp fewer times without flipping it than flipping it.
Well, Memorial Day weekend is a wrap and it is basically summer right now. All the BROs should be motoing all the time now, which means that they should also be crashing ALL THE TIME. This is what we in “the biz” call Open Season; BROs are hucking their meat absolutely all over the place. Bodies litter the ground, and the air is dense with the sweet harmonies of uncontrollable laughter, mostly mine. It is pretty amazing how the computer gives you such a jaded outlook on shit like this. Had I seen it in person, I probably would have only thought it was like 30% funny, at most. But I see it online and think “Ha, that guy probably got really injured. His medical bills are going to be high, he might even lose his house. Haha.” And I sit here and know that these are terrible things to think about, but I do it anyway, no fucks given.
Fucking Aussies, dude. They just go for it. Hey, yeah, it’s my first time hitting this 60 foot jump on what is essentially a couple of pieces of aluminum and very thin tires, so I’m thinking backflip. The dude was just thinking what all true savages would be thinking: if I land this, I’m getting laid tonight. Or at least 5-6 free drinks from the BROs for being a sick fuck. People, that is called having your ducks in the right pond.
If this guy had any thoughts at all from the time he fell off the bike to the time when it smashed his head, they were probably along the lines of “Wow, I lucked out on that one, I think I’m ok.” Then of course he got a fucking lobotomy from the front wheel and now he thinks playing checkers is not safe because the black pieces are mean to him.
I’d say don’t try this at home, but if any of you kids reading this are dumb enough to go out and try a backflip just to cool-guy your friends, then odds are you would have walked into traffic about an hour later anyway, so I say go nuts. Just make sure you videotape it.