It has been one year since James Stewart’s infamous encounter with the proverbial soap that should not be dropped. A lot of people crucified James for his misdoings, but I thought it was awesome. And what I think matters more than what you think, all day. So here are the top 5 reasons that getting fucked by the long dick of the law might not hurt that bad:
1. Americans love a comeback - No one can argue that the marketability of a comeback is not astronomical. It represents this aspect of the American dream that opportunity always exists, that anyone can make it (even though Joey Doughnuts on the gate for Open C is not making it no matter how many dollars he spends at MTF). In moto, you pretty much have three options to get you moving on the first part of your comeback: Start riding like shit, break a lot of bones, or get arrested. I would say the third is the quickest and easiest, wouldn’t you? That’s just using your head.
2. No press is bad press - People say this shit all the time, but it is so true. James Stewart never had a prayer of getting on TMZ or any of those celeb gossip sites because he was winning races or because he had a shot of Jaeger once. But get arrested and now the tabloids come calling. It is like Oscar Wilde said (and the outlook I have always had for this site), “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” All I know is that if you go into a gas station in Alabama with bikes in the back of your truck, Seabass in the “Wine ‘em, Dine ‘em, Sixty-Nine ‘em” hat isn’t talking to you about Villopoto or Dungey.
3. Book deal - BRO, you have got to start thinking beyond motocross. What are you going to do if you want to keep living like a boss? Most BROs don’t read books that don’t have a lot of pictures, and basically no BROs read books that don’t have a lot of pictures that happen to be naked women, so this is really more like the next step to the movie deal rather than the first step to the book deal. Any one going to see the Villopoto movie? No way, but are you going to see the James Stewie movie? Again, probably no way but you get my point.
4. Celebs can relate - How many female celebrities get arrested everyday? Has to be like 80% of them. Now you have the common ground with them, and that could lead to a budding romance. Not only do they make a ton of fucking money, but they also can make you way more famous. Look at my dude Kyle Regal; gets all friendly with Teen Mom and all of a sudden he is blowing the fuck up on the Hollywood sites. America, fuck yeah.
5. Hard as fuck - James didn’t go to jail, so he might not really benefit from this. And I really don’t even know if J-Law would either. But theoretically, dudes would just be afraid of you after you came out of the joint. Probably would benefit from some crude face tattoos also, but the effect still exists regardless. Riders are not fucking with the guy who may or may not have shanked his way to the cool kids table in the cafeteria at County.