From @racerxonline
5 Ryan Dungey – The Dunge obviously has the results to back his game up recently, but that KTM still looks like a looming cloud of hideous uncertainty to me. He was definitely faster on the Suzuki, stamp it.
7 James Stewart – Stew looks way better on the Suzuki. He likes the bike. Like I said, literally could have given him a Yamaha with Suzuki plastics and he would have killed it. I’m calling him for the win, but every time I gamble I lose so we’ll see where we are on Monday.
10 Justin Brayton – How about Brayton? I remember when he was some arenacross joe; now he’s factory and just doing whack-off gestures in your face. I think he’ll be right about where he was in SX, up front in “tier 2″.
11 Kyle Chisholm – Chiz is definitely a better outdoor rider. As vanilla as Ice Ice Baby, but a good rider. JWR BROs are looking for some top 10s. Actually, they’re probably looking for top 5s, but I don’t see many of those in their basket.
18 David Millsaps – Millsaps is the big fish at JGR now. As long as he’s walking with that swagger (and not stopping it), he should be a top 5er.
21 Jake Weimer – Would you consider Weimer to be the marquis rider at Kawi now? Probably, right? He hasn’t won anything on the 450, but Rattray has never ridden one other than MXdN. Put Weimer down for a couple of podiums.
23 Gareth Swanepoel – Did not even know Swanny was riding 450s until just this second. He was the only dude to beat Mitch last year, so he can fucks with the big dogs. And that wasn’t a typo, I wrote “fucks.” Kind of on a Method Man thing right now.
24 Brett Metcalfe – Metty is going to do well because nothing lights a fire under a guy’s ass like being usurped as the focal rider under a tent. He’s also a better outdoor rider anyway. I see some top 3s.
26 Michael Byrne – Byrner was out for all of SX, and he’s on a team that typically struggles like the worst morning after ever. He’s the guy over there, but he needs some factory shit if he’s going to do anything.
27 Nicholas Wey – What I said for Byrne.
28 Tyla Rattray – Rattray’s another question mark for me. His fitness is what is going to get him places, but the guys in this class are generally pretty solid in that category. This isn’t the kid’s table, BRO. Step the speed game up.
29 Andrew Short – Short will probably be pretty solid. I wonder if he has to wrestle with Larry Brooks before every moto like Joelessi did in ’05? That wasn’t uncomfortable or anything.
32 Tommy Hahn – Hahn is kind of a machine outdoors, I’m surprised no one has been saying that. He’s also on the factory Honda. Of course, he’s one of a few candidates who always did way better off a factory bike rather than on one.
33 Josh Grant – I wasn’t really thinking about JG to do anything this year but he crept some good rides in at the end of SX. He was probably the only guy who smoked The Dunge a couple of times in 2010, but that was a while ago (pre-child).
36 Kyle Regal – Regal is also kind of a machine outdoors. Now he’s on a bike that he actually likes. And if worse comes to worst, he can just live off the sugar teen momma. I’ll take it, sandwiches for everyone.
46 Les Smith – Lester The Molester is riding for Langston. He’s golden.
48 Jimmy Albertson – Albertson needs to shake off that horrendous SX season and keep banging his hot wife. She replaced Erin Bates. She’s British. Probably says “lieu” and “torch”. But she’s still hot. Good for you, Jimmy. Oh yeah, and ride well and stuff.
50 Nico Izzi – Guarantee that Izzi lays down top 5 lap times pretty much every practice. He just needs to have fewer children and start putting down motos and he will be a top 5 guy.
52 Ben LaMay – 15th place. Next.
53 Ryan Sipes – Sipes is another dude who is fast as fuck but cannot put together a moto outdoors. He’s also coming off an injury and jumping up to the 450 class. He gets good starts on the 4-fatty, so I’ll give him some holeys and a smile.
59 Vince Friese – Vince might be the poster child of “No Fucks Given”. Fights on the starting line, taking anyone and everyone out, and he’s also privateer now so I would look out if I was everyone else on the track. Or around it.
60 Mathew Lemoine – Lemoine is also jumping up to the 450. His SX season was pretty flacid (yeah, flacid). No boner at all. We’ll see if he can get some people hard on the big bike. To be honest, I’m not expecting much, probably gonna need some help from the blocked sites on my computer.
232 Billy Laninovich – Lano is riding the TLD 450 for a few rounds at least. He’s a boss, but was always better indoors. As long as he’s throwing whips in everyone’s face, he’ll be a winner in my book.
439 Ryan Hughes – Ryno is actually racing. I have no idea where he will be. I swear to you I have been hearing from people that he’ll easily crack the top 10, maybe top 5. No lie. He’s probably meditating on it right now.
800 Mike Alessi – People think Alessi will do way better this year, but I’m not really seeing it. I think people forget that he rode the 450 last year for KTM, not the tree-fiddy. He’ll probably be about the same as he was, but with a black bike. Dock him two positions right there.
Pre-race: It’s raining. No surprise, Seattle is where Jesus goes to cry. Also, the Fox riders are running #Boston butt patches. Cool as fuck, and a phenomenal way to get chicks to try to click your ass.
Lap 4: It’s lap 4/20 on 4/20. The stands have emptied as everyone rushes to the pizza guy.
Lap 10: Considering the ruts on this track, giving a fuck is not a winning strategy. Wide open coming out of the turns and tracking a rut the whole way. NFG.
Lap 14: This is not the race to fuck up your seatbounces. Shorty demonstrates (he saved it, cool your jets).
Lap 17: Millsaps discovering the relentless hazards that are lappers stalling in your rut. No worries for him though since he rides a bike like it’s a tricycle that owes him money.
Finish: Oh just kidding, Barcia wins it.
