Not a bad video. Some wild angles and cuts. At points, I felt like I was at Tomorrowland, or having a seizure, or both. But I liked the video, and Webby is shredding harder than ever. I still maintain my claim that he top 5s Hangtown. Public school don’t give a fuck.
Also, what with the song and everything, I felt this was appropriate
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I have not been posting K-Dub’s transfers lately, and that’s on me. I dropped the ball. It happens to the best of us. But what a way to get back into it, in the last two weeks that we will likely EVER see the Windham transfers. Look at the steeze factor, enough to shut down anyone on the track. The necessary turndown is a beautiful thing, especially when performed amidst the cavalcade of buttery style that is Kevin Windham.
Here’s some brain food to gnaw on: Every single one of these transfers is basically do or die, at minimum do or break your face and get internal bleeding or something. There were maybe a few when K-Dub was nursing injuries that were mellow, but for the most part, they are gnarly. Forget about the distance, let’s talk about hitting a giant lip from a skewed angle and landing the same way – case it and your are absolute fucking history, because if the case doesn’t break your ankles, the resulting stop-to-stop swap out is going to make your brain and other vital organs take a time out. And Windham has nailed every fucking one of them. He never rolls them (because he can’t), he just does them. I do not give a shit about results anymore. The BOAT: Baddest Of All Time. Read more
This Doug Henry backflip video hit the net earlier this week, but for some reason it was uploaded to Facebook, presumably in a feeble yet sadistic attempt to make people cut themselves to ease the pain of using the Facebook video player. Luckily, one rogue Samaritan threw it up on the YouTube, so now BRO can give it to the fans.
Doug Henry is tough as shit. Obviously, he’s from New England. Everything we do up there is about being better than the rest of the country. And I know you all are about to argue that your region is better, so I meet you with this question: Where is Doug Henry from? Exactly. We’ll see you all from the top step of the podium at the Bad Ass Motherfucker World Championships. Read more
Pre-race: It’s hard to bet against Roczen in this moto. He comes from Germany, where the tracks either suck (about 95%) or have perfect dirt. Kid is a machine in this stuff.
Holeshot: Tomac. I’m changing my bet.
Lap 2: Roczen is up to 3rd behind Christian Craig, who is looking to prove that he is more than the TLD dude that instagrams a lot of stuff with his chick. He’s ripping right now.
Lap 3: Roczen moved into 2nd and now Sipes is around Craig, too. Sipes also still exists, for your information.
Lap 4: Malcolm had just moved into 7th past Cunningham, but he needed to exfoliate and you cannot put a price on good mud.
Lap 5: Osborne battling with Sipes for 3rd, somehow manages to hit a double from so far inside he was basically on top of the tuff blocks.
Lap 6: Osborne into 3rd, squares up Sipes then shuts him down in the whoops. He’s about that box.
Lap 10: Tomac ovah the bahhhs! #BostonStrong
Lap 10 (cont’d): Ralph just called the back of the bike “the tail section”, like it’s a fucking Boeing. Oh Sheheen, you slay me.
Lap 11: Speaking of the tail section, Tomac’s looks like it thinks it’s better than everyone else. Hey, you think you’re better’n me? You ain’t better’n me. Roczen is now leading, by the way.
Lap 13: Dynamite battle for 5th happening with Sipes, Rattray, and Davalos. Running train on those ruts.
Lap 14: Politelli getting in the mix now for the battle for 5th and Davalos got distracted by something shiny. He hit the ground.
Lap 15: Did I not call Roczen for the win? Granted I wrote this 4 days after the race but you know what, kids? Santa doesn’t exist. So enjoy that knowledge.
Finish: Roczen takes it. The ‘ship is now his to lose.
Before we get started, you all have undoubtedly noticed that this blog has been on hiatus for a while. I stopped because I got bored of it, simple as that. People came calling, and I realized that this is more important than me. The citizens need the Breakdowns. Because on the inside, we are all assholes (scientifically true, to a degree).
Pre-race: It’s raining. No surprise, Seattle is where Jesus goes to cry. Also, the Fox riders are running #Boston butt patches. Cool as fuck, and a phenomenal way to get chicks to try to click your ass.
Holeshot: Barcia gets it and (spoiler alert) that’s the ballgame. Villopoto got pinballed all over the place but Reed was the one who took the nut-kicking of fate in that fiasco.
Lap 2: Dungey’s number plate got into the mini bar at the hotel by the looks of things. He is actually picking his way through the pack, which he normally struggles to do.
Lap 3: Villopoto around Alessi. The crowd goes a little wild, but not as much as Minni for The Dunge. Can’t blame them, you wouldn’t cheer as loud if your child was a ginger.
Lap 4: It’s lap 4/20 on 4/20. The stands have emptied as everyone rushes to the pizza guy.
Lap 5: Villopoto is struggling with the ruts, but so is everyone else so it’s all good. Fish tail steeze for days.
Lap 8: Villopoto is right there, but Barcia’s brain is good at ignoring riders around him and telling insecurity to fuck off.
Lap 10: Considering the ruts on this track, giving a fuck is not a winning strategy. Wide open coming out of the turns and tracking a rut the whole way. NFG.
Lap 12: Vince has his hands full with Weimer, Brayton, Short, and Tickle on the move. Weimer actually came way through the pack in this race but no one has said anything about it.
Lap 14: This is not the race to fuck up your seatbounces. Shorty demonstrates (he saved it, cool your jets).
Lap 16: Barcia and Villopoto are dialed, they’ve lapped into the top 10.
Lap 17: Millsaps discovering the relentless hazards that are lappers stalling in your rut. No worries for him though since he rides a bike like it’s a tricycle that owes him money.
Lap 19: Weimer just moved into 5th. He started somewhere like 13th. Anytime you pass more riders than the number that beat you, you had a good race. Take that to the bank.
Lap 20: I’d say this is Barcia’s to lose, but anyone who has had a race locked up on a rutty track and fallen on the last fucking lap knows not to count those chickens.
Finish: Oh just kidding, Barcia wins it.
This guy either had money on this race, or his chick told him that if he won then he could have a three-way with her and her friend with the big titties, just like Ja Rule’s bitch in The Fast and The Furious. Now he’ll return to the pits, and his woman will be all “What’s yo problem, ni99a? You didn’t win,” then all his boys will hoot and holler at his lack of manly ability. Regardless, we can all relate to this dude right here, where for a few seconds, you just sit there and think “Why in the name of fuck did I not just start doing heroin like a normal person with an addictive personality?” I feel your pain, BRO. Now excuse me while I laugh at your misfortune.
Thanks to Casey for the photo, who I believe is actually the guy in the photo. Remember, you’re only a loser if you don’t try. Or if you don’t win. Walk it off, champ.
With what a shitty week it has been in America, we need some whips to get the ball rolling again. And country music. Because ‘Merica, that’s why. BRO will be back in the swing of things shortly BROs. The NFG lifestyle applies to websites, as well.
By the way, Brett did not get invited to Best Whip Brazil as far as I know. Text in BQ365 anyway. Those fuckers will learn.
Just a bunch of retarded whips. The first one made me sad that I was not doing exactly that right now. Just all “Oh, hey, internet. How goes it? Oh excuse me, I have to bring this whip back.” Full retard, BRO. At least I nailed the screen grab.
I normally hate posting content from media sites, but this series has BRO written all over it. I have been hearing about this concept for the past 3 months, and it is now coming together. I have never shut up about fun being the core aspect of moto, and nothing else. I want to Helen Keller myself every time I see those Yamaha “Y do I ride?” commercials. Really, is it a hard question? You ride because it’s fun, and if you don’t, then good god just slip into depression now and find the sleeping pills and save all of us a lot of time. Anyway, The Runaways is all about having fun on a dirtbike, sleeping on dirty mattresses, and telling anyone who is not about that to fuck off. BRO will be bringing you all the episodes, as well as Vurb, obviously. It is going to be a wild summer.
Follow these assholes: @DaltonBailey181 and @dhoppanonmous
