From Yahoo – Motocross is a very extreme sport, where athletes often perform stunts and tricks on a bike. An athlete that is participating in motocross is likely to suffer an injury, especially to the hands, back, knees, and neck. An athlete is more susceptible to injury if he or she is new to the sport, and does not know the most important ways to prevent injuries. Here are three of the best ways that an athlete can prevent injuries during motocross, which can help keep him or her safe: Learn How To Fall, Stretch Before Getting On The Bike, Check The Bike Before Riding. Full article here.
Thank Christ she started out with “extreme”, because if you don’t lump motocross in with deep sea shark wrestling or competitive knife sodomizing, I really do not think I can be a part of it. I mean, I want my sports to literally be designed to kill me.
So we have learn how to fall first on the list, which is the only one I feel like addressing, and let me save you some reading: it turns out that all you really need to do when you fall to prevent injury is relax. Well, that should be pretty fucking obvious. I mean, if you cannot relax after you high side 4th gear wide open and your body is cruising toward what might as well be a barb-wire fence covered in rust and hate, then you should hit up hot yoga or something BRO because you are just too stressed. I could sit down with a glass of wine and a Redbook while that shit is happening. Like a boss. The other two points are pretty dumb and this bitch has no idea what she is talking about, which should be pretty obvious because she does not have any sports training experience or even training experience at all. $10 says this woman eats a bucket of KFC a day.
You want my top 3 ways to prevent injury in moto? 1. Don’t fall, 2. Land every jump perfectly, 3. Don’t be a pussy. Boom, we’re done here. If there is any explanation needed, please form a single file line at Dick’s Sporting Goods and we’ll get you some roller blades or something to better suit your intellectual and homosexual capacity.
Unrelated side note: I honestly used to think it was bad luck to stretch before a race. I would do it and fall or have a terrible start or something. Then I stopped and started winning in true BRO fashion. It was obviously retarded (this was when I was on 85s I think, so I essentially was retarded), but I was always very superstitious like that.
Some more of my ridiculous superstitions from back in the day:
- If you wore roll-offs in the first moto, you must use only tear-offs in the second moto, even if it’s down pouring.
- Always fist bump, even if it is with air. Air is my homeboy.
- Never start a moto with anything in your bladder.
- If the guy to your right gives you thumbs up, you have to give the guy to your left the same, but not vice-versa.
- Never tell anyone your good luck charms, which include not telling people about your good luck charms (mind blowing).
- No sex before race day (still believe this one).