So this happened last week, and the MX world is all over the map. Some say it was a completely false accusation, others are saying Ricky D whacked that bitch into next week. Regardless, this completely sticks to my theory that the regular world just cannot handle motocross riders. We party way harder than you, and are not about to slow down. I have heard from a credible source that this chick is one of those girls who will literally rip your balls off given the chance, you know, just under the level of committable. Now, I do not endorse domestic abuse of any sort, and it certainly is not a laughing matter. But…
The biggest problem here, as with most other instances of riders being arrested, is that you got caught, Dietrich. Everyone knows that if you are going to slap your woman around and she has a mouth looser than her sandy cunt, you have two options: One – shower her with gifts and affection, a bribe of sorts. Cold hard cash is also generally acceptable, although now you might be heading towards prostitution territory. Of course, anyone who makes a hobby out of Mike Tysoning his chick probably don’t give a four letter word about solicitation charges. One love.
Your second option is pretty simple: Kill her. Can’t talk if you’re dead. And if you can, no one is going to believe what you are saying, because you are a motherfucking zombie. Just don’t make a mess out of it when you do the job. If you can afford it, I would suggest outsourcing to a professional organization; they tend to be fairly on the ball with this sort of wet work.
By the way, props to Jeff for sending the link, but theDirty.com is gayer than AIDS.