What Your Visor Position Says About Your Personality

If you are reading this list and thinking “What? Visor position doesn’t mean anything about who I am or anyone else is as a person,” you are incredibly wrong and need to spend a lot more time at the track.

Too Low

As you can see, I actually had to take the bolts out to get the visor to this position, which only further proves that people who run this are psychos.

You do not function well in society. Some wires in your brain are either not firing or got crossed around like a Honda Civic that someone unsuccessfully tried to hotwire. Somehow in this universe, you decided that that visor position was not only normal, but comfortable. You cannot grasp the fact that literally half of your vision is dedicated to the bottom of that goddamn thing, even though a premature-born infant could deduce as much. You are almost definitely a sociopath, and let’s just say when decapitated hookers start popping up in or around the pits, we will all know whose fridge to check first.

Mid

First of all, you are almost definitely a vet rider. If not, you either live an extraordinarily cautious (you call it “mature”) lifestyle, or you are stupid and stuck a GoPro mount too far up on your lid. You ride for fun, and are not bothered when there is a jump on the track that you do not hit. Your regular logic is “It’s not worth it, man. I just do this for fun,” which is fine. You prefer to run a cool little cruiser on the vet track, or hit the trails with your BROs. Sometimes you drop your elbows in the turns, but it’s all good. In the game of life, you are just rolling the dice, landing on an available Boardwalk, and not buying it because it is just not the right time for you, financially. And you are always the designated driver. Oh, and either your wife cheats on you, or you are an absolute freak behind closed doors. The safeword is “Banana”, right?

Normal

You are as close to “normal” as we can deduce from visor position. You understand how things work, and have no problem with making life easy on yourself. You can figure things out and solve problems like an adult, and do not need to be walked through menial tasks. Whether you excel at most things is unknown, but you are at least average. More than likely, you got lots of Bs in high school and had a relatively stable home life. Your parents did not throw a lot of frying pans or drink too much PBR.

Too High

You are a textbook over-shooter. With everything in your life, you are so concerned with looking cool and not embarrassing yourself that you completely overlook how retarded you are really making yourself out to be. You were the kid in the BMX days that ran his handlebars WAY too far forward, just because you knew that joeys ran them far back. Every person you have ever met has thought the same thing: “Damn homie, pump the brakes.” You are very hyperactive, even as an adult. Do not ever do cocaine, because your heart will literally explode, and you will not tell anyone at the party because you will be too concerned that you’ll look like an idiot.

Featured
  • Jaminson Moses

    Great article. Like always.

  • James

    You forgot to add if it’s a Bro (flat-bill) visor…

  • KaNarly

    You forgot no visor! The most Joe of them all!

  • LP

    What about no visor? Or reverse visor?