The Pick-Up Kit Costume Will Not Fly

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It’s Halloween. It means lots of sluts and candy, in that order. Just slutcandy lining the streets, if you are lucky. Halloween is a magical day where we have the opportunity to display our own creative wit and dress up in a costume that makes people say “Hey, nice costume, BRO.” It is a great way to get free beer, let me tell you; even the faintest hint of creative ability can be the difference between dropping a twenty or so on booze and getting shitfaced off some BRO who thinks your costume is funny. But I find it a bit disturbing that in the motocross community, I am the one who has to lay down the law and proclaim that the pick-up kit costume is NOT acceptable. It is just bad for business. This is Halloween, when you become something that you are not for the sake of the holiday and the intoxication. Showing up to the party in your MX gear just lets everyone in the place know one thing: you are a total Joe. Like, people who have no affiliation or knowledge of the sport whatsoever instantly know that you suck at riding. You see, guys who can actually ride do not need to let the world know that they ride because they actually ride, try to make sense of that. In one fell swoop, your ability to get with the endless stream of cunts rolling through the crib has gone to zero, because they do not want shit to do with some retard backing up the C class. Not to mention that you also have displayed no brain functionality at all with your shitty costume. Even the guy with the eye-patch on can tell people he is One-Eyed Willy because he has one eye and he is a dick, so he is beating you. So let’s take a look at the score: You are slow, you are not attractive, and you are stupid. I hope that running around with a straw in your beer so you could drink it through your HJC helmet was worth it, BRO.