Holeshot: Millsaps rips it like a boss. JGR boys are all “What the fuck’s a James Stewart?”
Lap 1: Weimer passes Dungey and Alessi in the whoops, a clear indicator of not giving a fuck. Weimer into 2nd.
Lap 2: Millsaps and Weimer are jumping the whoops (N.O.F.G.) while The Dunge is still blitzing them.
Lap 5: Short and Brayton doubling through the first rhythm and Tickle triples through and essentially cuckolds both of them right into 7th and 8th. Tickle into 6th.
Lap 9: Dungey gets around Weimer, but tees himself up two turns later to get punted. Weimer isn’t playing around with that nice guy shit anymore. Like a boss. Dungey is up quickly and is ten different shades of bullshit.
Lap 12: Millsaps stretching it out over Weimer now, looking solid as fuck.
Lap 13: Alessi gets bucked in the whoops like a motherfucker. Turn down that rebound, Tony. Brayton catching up in 5th.
Lap 15: Brayton all over Alessi, but you didn’t need me to tell you that.
Lap 16: You gotta love the superfans that need Ralph and Fro to tell them what color Dungey’s and Weimer’s bikes are in order to distinguish who is who. Dungey now close to Weimer.
Lap 17: Brayton triples past Alessi in the first rhythm. Mike’s 2-3-3-1 was really paying off until now [it wasn't].
Lap 17 (cont’d): Dungey nice-guy passes Weimer and it did not live up to the hype. Especially since CBS was way too concerned with the battle for 4th to show it as it happened. And nothing against Jake, but everyone in the stands was waiting for The Dunge to get pissed.
Lap 19: Millsaps living the joe life in the rhythm section and just like that Dungey is in the lead. Davi and Jake gave it to him easier than his chick would if he wasn’t most likely saving himself for marriage.
Lap 20: Feld BROs got a little to antsy in their pantsy and pulled the trigger on the fire ball a lap early. Nothing like a 30 foot mushroom cloud and a wave of heat that could singe your eyebrows to help a guy focus on the last lap.
Finish: The Dunge takes it. Good thing he fell or this would have been as much of a snoozer as a final round where every championship is already wrapped up.
