Pre-race: Anderson and Sipes ate shit in the parade lap, a rare example of when not giving a fuck goes wrong.
Holeshot: And Anderson is going to go ahead and rip the holey. Turns out embarrassing the fuck out of yourself on the hot lap is faster.
Lap 1: Anderson grabs his Leatt and tosses it on the first triple, for the sole purpose of being a bad motherfucker.
Lap 2: Deano passes Davalos and Musquin to get into 2nd, everyone doubles the triple, Tomac running 6th is on their shit now.
Lap 4: Tomac passes Davalos then flattracks it to the inside of Musquin to get into 2nd, throwing the fishtails in the turns for the kids.
Lap 6: Tomac is all over Deano for 2nd, throwing the sit down scrub swag in your face on the triples. Like a boss. Anderson still running first and wondering where the fuck everyone is.
Lap 8: Lapper city now, Tomac still hounding Deano and Anderson still not giving a fuck out in the lead.
Lap 9: Deano fucks up in the rhythm and misses the triple, Tomac around him, and now Anderson is fucked because they are on the same straightaway.
Lap 11: Tomac passes Anderson for the lead around the flat corner after the finish. Anderson looks like he’s living the arm pump lifestyle.
Lap 13: Deano ate shit in the sketchy whoops section before the finish. As we say in Boston, he fahkin hit the deck hahd, kid.
Lap 14: Wilson off the track since his bars look like the chick who got way too drunk at the after party (everything’s crooked and you definitely don’t want to be taking any chances with them).
Lap 15: Ralph started the preliminary celebration way too early on this lap and now he is trying his best to keep talking and stretch it out by spacing every word way too far apart. It’s his go-to move when he doesn’t know what the fuck to say.
Finish: Tomac wins it and wraps up the ‘ship since Deano got lawn darted out of the points chase. Anderson grabs second, and Davalos got third in the most quiet fashion possible.