File Under: Oh, you’re a model? This is the thing about Monster girls, they’re just the hottest girls at the track. Put them next to the likes of my girl Kate Upton and their case of ugly seems much more enflamed.
Hair:
1) What is that rat on your head? Does Monster just throw outfits on any girl? I’m baffled. You’re going to have to put at least a little effort in to give me a boner. Not a lot, just a little.
2) Andddd I have a boner. Well done two. I don’t know if it’s windy but you got your hair flowing and shit like a pro. A pro dick wrecker.
The Goods:
1) Unzip that strappy little number and then we’ll be talking. It should be illegal to keep bombs like yours in like that. Is there a hotline I can call to report abuse? Poor bastards. Just let them out!
2) Two for two for number two. Unzipped top enough to show off some side boob and hike up that skirt like daddy never let you do (or let you do too often, either is fine).
Attire:
1) & 2) I like what Monster is doing here. Strappy dominatrix top and a skirt short enough you could probably see that camel toe peeking out. But lets be real – If you’re going to dress up promo models, put them in next to nothing. That sells cans like a motherfucker and I’m not talking about the girls selling their cans when they go back to the corner where these two will inevitably end up
Misc:
1) Fuck is up with your eyes? Radiant smile but your wonky eye is confusing my boner. Next time save the money on the watch and invest in some big sunglasses.
2) Pronounced nose, big teeth, long flowing mane, solid thighs, eyes so far apart they’re almost on the sides of your head. sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com That’s all I’m going to say.
Final Rating - 1/ 2 for both. Some big sun glasses could really remedy this situation.
