High Point For Gentlemen: 450 Breakdown

Photos by @vurbswanny

The pits were electric, would Stewart fare well?
Practice was out there, and now time would tell.
He rode with intensity, not giving a fuck,
Making more dudes pull over than he did in his truck.

Once practice ended, and the times came across
James was on top, with his last lap (like a boss)
Now people were talking, James was still fast
But in a 30+2, did we think he could last?

The moment arrived, gate drop, moto one
Rev limiters blaring in the heat of the sun
The 450s did roar, rendering everyone deaf
While Alessi was leading (and no, ’twas not Jeff)

In the midst of it all, James was way back,
Watching out for distractions potentially crossing the track
He just didn’t have it, it didn’t look fun
James made it to 5th and he was all done

Meanwhile out front, Dungey was gone
Having destroyed Mike Alessi and the black bike he was on
Just KTM cruising like a boss as he rode
And the field just hoping that his ride would explode

The checkers came out, The Dunge took the race
Making everyone his bitch with his late moto pace
Alessi took second, and Jake Weimer third
Fourth went to Shorty, and 5th, well, you’ve heard

Moto 2 hit the line, with Stewie not there
Many “What the fuck?”s were up in the air
His day was now finished, his glass hand was cooked
And this race just got boring by the way that things looked

The gate hit the ground, and The Dunge was up front
But T.A. was screaming “Get him, you cunt jerk”
So Mike did abide, by grabbing the line
And moving to first – It’s clobberin’ time.

For a few laps, he was good, not letting Dunge past
But we knew what was coming, and coming real fast
“I’ll never back down,” we all heard Mike shout
While Tony was whispering “Just take his ass out”

But all was for naught, as The Dunge took the lead
While Tony sat embarrassed by the son he did feed
But Mike would take second, a respectable spot
Weimer was coming, but he couldn’t be caught

There was no joy at High Point, except for KTM
Finally started winning, so you can’t make fun of them
The Dunge says “It’s fast, and electric start is nifty
But thank fucking God, it’s not a 350.”

Fin

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  • GARET PILGRIM

    fucking genius

  • fewsy

    “the son he did feed”. brilliant

  • Ramon Sacilotti

    Best race report EVER!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Cody/561878107 Michael Cody

    This was completely amazing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001033137488 Charles Webber

    Awesome!!

  • http://twitter.com/NeRo940 Neil Romero

    Oh you are something special johnny quid.

  • http://twitter.com/swedishfishmx Brad Stretz

    AHHHHMAZING. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/CoachSeiji Seiji Ishii

    Haha brilliant you guys! 

  • Anthony C

    Best poem ever.  Lit classes might have been ok if the reading materials were like this.

  • Johnny Beales

    If I was a woman, I’d shed a tear over how awesome this is!