Eazy Answers: How To Handle A Fast Joe Show

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Eazy
I've got this, BRO

I've got this, BRO

Eazy,

Would you mind posting a little something touching on what I consider to be the exception to BRO rule? In two different instances I have seen them play out in a perplexing manner: circa 02′ some BRO on a 94′ CR 125 wearing reasonably current/matching gear just destroying the 125 B class at an AMA Mega Series race (reasonably legit). Circa 02′ to present, different BRO on a few year old CR 250 (back then on a 00′ most recently an 07′ I believe) running an HJC with a quick strap system, and urban camo pants (I want to say the same pair all this time) with a fox jersey consistantly running top 3 in 250 B and now +25 Expert also at AMA Mega Series races. It’s keeping me up at night.

We live in a pretty sick world. On a daily basis, the news subjects us to bombings in the Middle East, murderers thinking they are cool, and school coaches telling young players not to worry, checking for hernia is totally part of a coach’s job description. And then there is this – when the universe looks at you with your fresh kit and your new bike and says “Fuck you BRO” and sends in this ringer from parts unknown. Of course his HJC is loaded with the quick strap system, because if you have the time to take your goggles completely off AND put them on, you are definitely moving too slow for this crazy train.

We all know the dude’s riding style, too – elbows down, head bobbing like he loaded up on helium pre-moto, and enough foot dragging to make a stroke victim count his blessings. For whatever reason, it does not matter. BRO just pops that motherfucker into overdrive and runs it up front every moto. He is the exception that proves the Joe rule. Here’s the thing, though: he will never get any better; whatever divine miracle allowed him to gain the speed that he has cannot outperform nature any longer. BRO’s learning curve is straight plateaued like you read about. So fear not,  he will be joeing around in the back of the pack soon enough. And if he does not, then dude is a straight up zombie Jesus, so there are bigger things to worry about than him leading the Vet class.

By the way – ’07 CR250 is totally legit. Shine the frame, throw a Cycra number plate on it, and you are full factory. BROest machine on the track.

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  • 46

    Well if he is top B class and a squid why not give him so tips to ride proper like elbows up so he can go to A class and dominate.

  • jsears

    Dont give these guys any credit. They are just dumb rednecks that pin it and hang on for subsequent ride.

    The ratio of riding skill to fearlessness is way out of wack and nature WILL correct itself eventually…

  • SeriouséJosé

    The fact is this. Both of those dudes are way more legit than you could ever be. Both of them never train and, as a matter of fact, if HJC Payed that guy to where the quick strap system you would have one around your chin too. If you fought him you would loose. If Al-Qaida sponsored him to where his Urban Camo pants, you would be participating in a suicide bombing because your thought process leads you to one conclusion, brand loyalty.

    So, the reason you do not sleep at night is because your whole philosophy is wrong and this guy proves it. Any ideology consistent with brand recognition is totally mental. The only reason you believe in it is because your dad never hugged you. Well, let this serve as your hug, your an idiot.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAl6iD42hik

    By the way what does a 94 foot CR125 look like?
    Again, your an idiot.

    Way to plagiarize, Eazy. I’m surprised you didn’t use the word huckabuck.

    • Anonymous

      Well told.

    • SeriousélyGhéy

      People take this shit way too seriously. The shit Eazy posts is hilarious and completely true. We all think it, he’s just the one to say it. Yeah it’s harsh as fuck, but you know what? Deal with it. That’s what makes this blog so fun to read. If you don’t agree there is a very good chance you are the type of rider being made fun of on a weekly basis, and if you are actually offended by his opinions, no one is forcing you to read. Feel free to read some fluffy stories written by some boring dick, posting the same mind numbing shit about our sport, and I’ll stick to this blog which I’m pumped to read everyday.

      Keep it coming BRO

      • SeriouséJosé

        I love you impotent types, its almost cute. Does anyone else know what I mean? If you don’t, I’m talking about the people who contradict themselves in two consecutive sentences.

        You first said, “People take this shit way too seriously” while you then said, “The shit Eazy posts is… completely true.”

        Which is it, ghéy boy?

        • SeriousélyGhéy

          Do I really have to explain myself? What I meant by that, is you are taking it too seriously if you allow yourself to be offended by it. What makes this blog so funny is that there is always a hidden truth behind any joke or opinion he has. For example, wearing miss-matched gear and pulling a bike behind a honda accord makes you look like a fucking knob. You should be able to laugh at that even if you are guilty of it yourself. Why you ask? Because it’s true. If you don’t see it or can’t laugh at this stuff, then this blog is not for you.

          • SeriouséJosé

            I’m glad you explained yourself.

            You want to limit the humor. its okay to laugh at other “fuck knobs” but when i make a joke that your the “fuck knob” it then becomes “too serious”.

            You are an idiot. Enough said.

  • Watev

    It’s you’re… not your.

    Idiot.

    • SeriouséJosé

      it’s “whatever”… not “Watev”.

      But, Whatever.

  • nouu

    seriousjose speaks truth.

    • Yzae

      sure is samefag in here

      • SeriouséJosé

        Eazy, it’s un-American to change your name in order to call somebody a faggot. Ever heard of the Confrontation Clause? Well, its in the constitution and everybody knows theirs nothing more American then the U.S. Constitution.

        No it is not José behind that curtain. Unlike, some Cowardly Lion I will not call you out under any name, except SeriouséJosé. Your job is to put the fun in motocross and these blogs show me that you suck at your job. So, cut the shit or get on unemployment like the rest of the Americans who are to lazy to do their job.

        • R Meyer

          Keep it coming ,Bro.

  • lazyboy

    I’ve meet a couple of those during the years, they ended in the same place, the hospital.

  • yep

    Eazy always says the truth, like it or not, what he says is always what every racer who is worth 2 shits thinks about you. If you arent in B class or better with a decent bike and gear you don’t get to brag about anything, Understand? I dont get mad at him when he makes fun of stuff that i happen to do, i change the things so that maybe one day i can be one of the cool kids.

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