Preface: These are all applicable for girls away from the MX track. Moto hoes are a different breed of slut.
1. Pick up kit - It’s called a pick up kit for a reason. I do not need to tell you how hot a jersey is; why do you think they need to be vented? That is not for body heat, it is so women don’t have a sex overload when they look directly at it. Think about how gay all those dudes in the Fox T-shirts will look when you roll into a 909 party with a Fox jersey. Game over, man.
2. Name drop - Remember, these girls do not know anything about anything. The fact that they made it through the door in one solid motion is a church-ordained miracle. Make sure to stay broad with your name drops, though – the potency of a name drop is inversely related to a girl’s knowledge of the sport, factoring out the rider’s overall fame, of course. What this means is the less a girl knows about moto, the better you are using either Reed, Stewart, or Carmichael as your go-to.
3. Call anything that isn’t riding “training” - This is such a great technique that it should probably be number one, but I thought of it third so here we are. It is so effective in its subtlety. Regardless of what you are doing – hitting the gym (yeah, right), getting food, mainlining heroin – you are training. Tweet that shit. That way, literally all you do is ride and train. Pro as fuck.
4. Always have a bike in the truck - If you don’t have a truck, then what the fuck man? A van will do, but truck is going to get you the most ground here, because it shows everyone in the vicinity that you are so moto that you take your bike out to the bar at 11:00 at night. Probably because you are going to hit the track at 3 in the morning, seems only logical since that’s when the real players play, player.
5. Take her riding (but make sure no one else is there) - I look at this like the old question “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Basically, we are now taking it as “If a joey goes to the track but no one else is there, is he still a joey?” The answer is of course yes, but he is the fastest guy there. For all this bitch knows, he is the fastest rider on the planet. You’re welcome, BRO. Get it in.
