Before SX, we gave you the top 5 Drinking Games. Now it’s time to go outdoors, and get drunk all over again.
1. Drink when Dungey or Stewart win. Drinking Frequency: 24 times per season. Drink of Choice: Champagne. This is a gimme, a fail-safe. It’s a game that ensures that you will be drinking, and that is pretty much all that we want here. Will it definitely be 24? Maybe, only time will tell. 20+ though, take that to the bank.
2. Drink every time you see a replacement rider. Drinking Frequency: 4-5 times per race. Drink of Choice: Kamikazes. After running through the gauntlet of Supercross, a lot of guys cannot say they made it out the other side. And some guys just say “Fuck nationals” and contract Epstein-Barr. Regardless, teams need the sponsorship dollars coming in, so it’s time to sort through the bargain bin and grab a rider who is just going to go for it, no fucks given.
3. Drink when someone asks where Villopoto or Reed is. Drinking Frequency: 5 times per race. Drink of Choice: Whiskey. If you’ve never been to a national, let me break something down for you: The average fan is a complete fucking moron. That’s all there is to it. Like, how in this day of technology, when you can literally find out with the click of a button what a rider’s shit looks like on a daily basis (soft-serve ice cream today, thank you) can someone be so ignorant. Drink whiskey, it’s an angry beverage. Then punch that asshole in the face.
4. Just drink at Red Bud. Drinking Frequency: A lot. Drink of Choice: Bud Light. There are two reasons to not drink at Red Bud – 1) Your throat is bleeding because you yelled “Red Buuuud” too often, or 2) You are in a state of exhaustion from drinking so much. Actually in either case, drinking more will probably remedy the situation.
5. Drink when Random Hero complains about the track. Drinking Frequency: 10 times per race. Drink of Choice: W[h]ine. All too often at Nationals, random hero shows his ugly face and expects to win. The ugly truth, unfortunately, is that he sucks. He rode a highway track at home and put down some laps, and thinks he’s got it; time to go get famous. But when he gets off practice and is sitting pretty with a solid 60th, he knows where to point fingers.