Paying The Ultimate Price – A Somber BRO Blog

Times like these really suck. I don’t blog much anymore, and I usually try to keep this blog on the lighthearted side, but this is one of those times where I’m venting, and if you want to read it, cool. If not, cool, too. I, like a lot of people in the sport, am anxiously waiting any real report on Tyler Hoeft’s condition, although from the chatter that has been going around, even the good news is pretty terrible. I never met Tyler, but saw him at tracks in California here and there. Good rider, and the family seem like good people, the type that make the track a good place.

I just saw a photo of Tyler racing from Thursday (above), presumably in the moto where he crashed. Stuff like that is tough for me to look at. It’s so hard not to think, “Man, if he just didn’t line up for that moto…” It’s enough to make you not want to ride a dirtbike. But then, where does that mentality stop? At what point do you start thinking like that and look up and realize you haven’t left your house in four weeks because it’s the safest way to live? Motocross is dangerous, no matter what. I know that there is no way to ease the heartbreak and hardship the Hoeft family is experiencing right now, and I am not even going to try to. All I will say is, no matter what happens, I am sure that Tyler Hoeft was happy riding his dirtbike, much happier than kids who grew up with their parents putting floaties and helmets on them when they got into an inflatable pool. Every day in life should be a roll of the dice, to some degree, if you are truly living.

I’ve spoken to a lot of people in the last day who use the “It just isn’t worth it” argument, and get kind of frustrated because that makes no sense to me. What isn’t worth it? I am not saying that a kid’s life is worth risking for motocross; all I am saying is that there is so much out of our control, to argue that racing a dirtbike isn’t worth it is to say that life would be better spent sitting on the couch, waiting comfortably for death. Tyler Hoeft doing something that he loved, that he was passionate about, and was damn good at was definitely worth a hell of a lot to him. Tyler’s crash was on a standard jump, and was a horrible freak occurrence. To argue whether this is worth it or not is to say there is a credible chance that he could have seen some scenario where this was coming, which is idiotic. It would be foolish to think that anyone who has ever swung a leg over a bike could have seen that coming. Don’t say “motocross isn’t worth it”.

I see more and more people coming out of the woodwork saying that amateur motocross is too dangerous now, that the tracks are too gnarly and the bikes are too fast. I will say that I don’t think there is any reason that a kid should ride a 450. Honestly, if you weigh under 200 pounds and are not a professional, you do not need a 450, straight up. I’m not talking about Tyler Hoeft right now, because I think he was riding a 250. This is just an observation on the state of amateur motocross. More and more kids are coming up in the ranks with unbelievable speed, but regularly taking unbelievable crashes, too. Amateur motocross now has a “just twist it” mentality that I don’t think it ever had – parents and training facilities are more often encouraging speed over technique, which is not the way to do it. Proper technique will always translate into speed in the long run, but such is not always true vice-versa. And while I hate two-stroke nazis, I will say that it takes a lot more technique to ride a two-stroke 250 than a four-stroke 250. But proper technique allows riders to stay out of trouble more often on the track, and ultimately leads to fewer crashes. Some people might argue against my opinion there, and they are stupid. There will always be forces out of our control working on the track; minimizing their effect is the only thing we can do.

Again, that last paragraph was in no way directed toward Tyler Hoeft or family. From what I could tell, Tyler is a great rider with great technique, like his brother. My relentless condolences and support to them in this, the hardest time of their lives. Nothing would make me happier than to see him pull through this. Eazy out.


BRO’s Take On RV’s First MXGP

A photo posted by @brotocross on

I meant to sound off on this last week, but a combination of business, laziness, and non-fuckery kept me away from the keyboard, so unfortunately this is all going to sound very reactive, and like I am trying to say I knew what was going to happen when I didn’t, which is totally not true. I knew that shit was going to happen.

Obviously, everyone is saying the same thing: “Oh Villopoto is just getting used to all this bull ish and he will definitely improve.” I think it’s true. People always ignore the differences between AMA Nationals and MXGPs, which are pretty huge. The tracks, the schedule, the jet lag, the unruly fans who may or may not murder you, the freakiness of the Monster girls – it’s all a series of factors, some massive, some tiny, that mean no rider can seamlessly switch from one series to the other. No Euro has ever come to the US and won right away, and it sure as shit was not going to happen the other way around.

If this was 10 years ago, I would be spouting off about how this was a total fluke and that Villopoto will murder everyone this year, for two reasons: I was an arrogant 16-year old prick 10 years ago, and because I still genuinely believe that America destroyed all 10 years ago. The GPs now are a different game – I still would not say they are gnarlier than AMA Nationals, but I would say the two are about equal. Equal but different, like Plessy vs. Ferguson minus the overt racism.

I knew Villo was not going to win in Qatar. First of all, that track sucks. Second of all, everything I said above this paragraph. There’s always a learning curve, even for him. And those dudes he is racing are no joke. He would shit on all of them in the Nationals, but this is their turf. A 9-8 for 7th is still worse than I thought he would do, but let’s not forget that in 2013 and 2014, RV sucked at A1 and won the championship. I’m not saying he is definitely going to win the World Championship (people seem to be ignoring the fact that Cairoli has never lost a title in the MXGP class), but he is definitely going to be in the hunt. The GP schedule is a cake walk compared to the American schedule – 18 races over seven months versus 29 races over eight months. I’m pretty sure that’s the reason RV went over there, plus the paper #CREAM.

The only unfortunate consequence coming out of this first round is that I think any American will be terrified to go over to the GPs now. I know there’s a ton of allegedly fucked up corruption in the FIM, but I think overall the schedule is way more forgiving and allows a rider to be an actual person; those GP dudes are way more fun to party with, let’s just all agree on that. But now, if even Villopoto can go over there and struggle, US dudes are going to think of it as career suicide. Osborne is the only guy in the last ten years to have gone over there and come back with a solid ride still, and it took him years to do that. Hopefully, more Americans can start doing it and actually see positive results. And party. Always party.


BRO Perspective On The Reed/Canard Situation

A video posted by @brotocross on

I’m happy to put my analytical hat on. No more trying to be the clown, and making funnies for fat people at their computer. I’ll get back to that tomorrow. For now, let’s talk Reed, Canard, and black flags.

First, my honest opinion: I don’t think it was ridiculous that Reed got black-flagged. When it happened I was all, “Whoa, no way dude,” but really not surprised. It was a resolute take-out, and not a natural result of racing. I was not mad at Reed at all for doing it, because I completely understood the frustration that he had to be feeling right there. It was his best ride of the year, and Canard came out of nowhere and smashed him. If you’re thinking straight in that situation, then you don’t want to win enough. I’m not saying that Canard was riding like an idiot, he just didn’t realize that Reed was going inside and had committed to probably trying to either square Reed up or block pass him. That’s racing, but I understand wanting to kill the guy in the moment.

All the riders and normal un-fast/homeschool people are citing all sorts of other situations (Hansen on McElrath, Barcia on everyone) which is pretty ridiculous in my mind. The obvious difference between the other situations and this one is Reed’s move was 100% retaliatory – he had the pass back made all day long without any contact, but he did it. I think that is really the only part of the AMA’s case that is indisputable and justifies the black flag. Even if there is a shred of evidence that a rider was doing what he did to make a pass stick, then I think it’s a racing incident and no consequences should be decided by officials. But like I said, Reed clearly had that pass made without hitting Trey, so here we are. Every single other takeout that we’ve seen this year and in recent memory could in one way or another be construed as a desperate passing attempt, which is just a rub. And rubbing is racing, unless you’re in a train station or on a bus, in which case prepare yourself for an assault charge.

I think the best incident to cite is Alessi/Tickle last year, but even then you could argue that Mike was trying to make a pass. It was horrifically executed, but it’s not against the rules to be a dumbass, unfortunately. Reed was not being a dumbass; he knew damn well what he was doing.

And I must reiterate the fact that I am not against Reed in this situation. I like Reed more than Trey, as a person and a rider (don’t dislike Trey, just like Reed’s style better on and off the bike). I literally have done almost the exact same thing on the track (admittedly not on the same stage), so I and every other racer knows where he is coming from. I’m not saying the black flag was the only option, but I am saying that I agree with the AMA’s decision that the move was pure retaliation and deserved punishment. The next step for both riders is to suck it up and move on.

So to sum this up: I love Reed, and I love that he still has the passion that he does. But it is indisputable that he was trying to put Trey into the tough blocks, and nothing else.


Watch The First Of Many Moto Videos From The JBR Crew In New England Being Better Than You At The Game Of Dirtbikes

BRO has been on hiatus for the last month, and for about the last year in posting good videos. But had to share this one from the boys of my homeland. Drew T. and the entire JBR crew pretty much run east coast moto, and now they are gracing the big time DVDs, because the world cannot get enough of New England since it kicks the shit out of the rest of the country. What makes them awesome, you ask? The general lack of bullshit. Just riding dirtbikes and having a good time with it. Oh, and being better than most people while doing it; guys who have made noise at the National level that love more than anything (more than winning) to enjoy their time on these things we call dirtbikes. Drew T. here top 10′d the Unadilla GNCC in whatever the fuck they call the 250 class there, so he knows a little something about a little something in the woods. Scope the video, but don’t let your girl see it, because you will be cuckolded faster than you can say “Impotence”.


When Not Giving A Fuck Goes Right: Rookie White Jumping 100,000 Feet at LACR on Saturday

A video posted by Rookie White (@rookiew663) on

This video has people talking. Rightfully so, I dare say. Blew the needle right off the NFG meter with this one. Never seen anything like it, really. Biggest jump I’ve ever witnessed at a track was probably in the neighborhood of 160 or so feet. Rookie reported this was 250ft, I’m hearing it was taped off at 211ft. Doesn’t even matter really; it’s 200+ feet and it’s at a track, with like other jumps and stuff. Not a fat ramp and a massive landing, just a quad that had no business being hit. That jump after he lands even looks somewhat sizable and he’s practically locking up the brakes on the face to not OJ it. To add insult to the injury that all the Glamis BROs who think they hit jumps are feeling, this kid is a B rider. That’s California moto, though – B riders hitting 200+ft jumps and usually running lap times that would qualify top 20 at a pro national.

This kid also has some nac-nac photos that are making me cry out of parts of my body that I’m not supposed to be crying out of.

A photo posted by Rookie White (@rookiew663) on

Update: This angle that FMF posted communicates the level of non-fuckery so much better. Wide open.

A video posted by FMF Racing Official (@fmf73) on

Moto Videos

8 Real World Problems Solved By A Motocross Rider

These are all basic versions of complaints that I have heard from real world friends or acquaintances in the past couple of months. Since it’s socially unacceptable to give people a harsh dose of reality, and instead being forced to coddle people’s delicate psyches with encouragement and positive thoughts (oxymoron), I’m turning to BRO. Enjoy.

“I’m Feeling So Hungover Today, I Can’t Do Anything”
Child’s play. Get your ass up, and get moving. A hangover is your brain telling you that you drank too much, but your brain is a fucking idiot. Your body is still ready to go, trust me. I pound out laps the morning after on a regular basis, and literally every single time I do, I feel like a million bucks afterwards. Physically, you are entirely capable of being active during a hangover. It’s entirely up to you to be a doer or a whiny little bitch on the couch watching re-runs of New Girl all day.

“I’m Worried That My Girl Isn’t Into It Anymore”
Um, then do something about it, dipshit. When I consistently feel shitty on the bike, I make a change, be it drastic or small. Sometimes, a twist of the clickers does the trick, and if not, maybe it’s time to get a new goddamn bike. But sitting there and dealing with it makes me not have fun on the track, which makes me hate life and bitch to my friends about how much I’m not into my bike.

“I’m Getting Divorced”
You’re obviously a dumbass. Thousand bucks says you got married too early, and are now realizing what a colossal thundercunt your woman is. Learn from your mistake and move on. I’ve never in my life bought a bike without trying one out first and making sure it was what I wanted. If I did, there’s a good chance I’d find an issue with it early on and be pissed that I just wasted almost ten grand on the fucking thing.

“I’m Really Tired”
See my answer to number one. Stop self-medicating and start actually maintaining an active lifestyle and tire yourself out so you don’t have to pop pills or take Nyquil to get to sleep because your mind is racing with thoughts of how shitty your life is. Try casing a step-up out at Beaumont and bouncing 60-feet down the landing, almost literally shaking hands with the Devil. Never been more awake in my life.

“I Can’t Afford To Pay My Bills This Month”
Sucks to suck, maybe you shouldn’t have wasted all your goddamn money on that giant rock that you gave your fiancée who is definitely cheating on you. (Note: This one is far more specific to the individual and really doesn’t relate to moto at all, but I’m sure some of you can run with it)

“No Matter How Hard I Try, I Can’t Get A Job”
Then make yourself better. When you race, no one is handing that shit to you; a win comes to the guy who did the best. If you don’t win, you practice until you are the best, and winning. And guess what, there’s always 39 guys working their ass off to be better than you. Go to college or something, dumbass.

“My Shoulder Hurts, But I Don’t Know If I Should Go To The Doctor”
I don’t understand, did you fall on it really bad, or dislocate it, maybe? If you didn’t, then I can save you a trip to the doc and assure you that you’re suffering from Little Bitch Syndrome. LBS is very common in people who don’t ride dirtbikes and do gnarly shit. I once broke my collarbone and finished the moto. Toughen up, cupcake.


The Motocrosser’s Guide To Being A Normal Person

I have said it a million times that I hate normal society. They always bug me and make me feel uncomfortable, like I’m in some sort of dystopian zoo where the animals look like me and interact with me. But, as unfortunate circumstance would have it, we all have to integrate into normal society; in fact, being awesome like me means that you can throw on that camouflage and blend right in if you want. So here are some tips to doing exactly that:

Talk about work and shit

A lot of you youngbloods reading this are not going to relate, as is also the case with you jobless degenerates who only hang out with other jobless degenerates. But for those of us who run in circles that actually have “hope” for the future, dealing with normal people means that invariably they will ask you what you do for a living, and will want you to ask them about what they do. Even though normal jobs exhibit the same life-sucking properties as a goddamn vampire, that’s all they want to talk about. The reason, of course, is because that is all they have in their life. They do not have a passion for anything, and thus have nothing else to talk about. They convince themselves that they are happy with their situation, which more often than it should leads to an empty bottle of Jack and a trip through the office with a sawed off shotgun. But if you are trying to seem normal, have some business buzzwords to drop in to conversation – terms that contribute absolutely nothing but make it sound like you care about/know what you are talking about. Example terms include but are not limited to: “touch base”, “hit the ground running”, “stick to the basics”, and “leveraging synergies”.

Know at least something about football

I’m not saying that it’s stupid to enjoy football. I’m from Boston, it’s required that I like the Patriots and hate the Jets/Colts/Everyone, which I do. But normal folk, again, have nothing, so on the weekends when they can’t work, they watch football. They also are so desperate to find common ground, because they fear awkward conversation. So when they find out where you are from – if there is any team nearby – they will want to talk to you about it, despite the fact that even if you care about football, you do not give a fuck about engaging a total stranger on it. But knowing the ins and outs of the game will help in speeding the convo along while avoiding the awkward moment where you both realize that this interaction is about to hit a massive wall of silence.

Don’t ever refer to things using dirtbike sounds

We all, when we are excited, let some sort of instinctive moto sound slip. I do it all the time. I’m not saying it’s cool and makes me seem edgy or something, I’m just saying I do it. I wish I didn’t, but I do. Just know that doing so in front of normal people is pretty much a dead giveaway that you are not one of them. They like to “Woo” or bark like a dog or some stupid shit. Yelling “Bung bung buuuuunnng” as you approach the bar/strip club is definitely not normal.

Be a shittier driver

Motocross riders are better drivers. Indisputable fact. I would say that of all the people I know who attempt to operate a vehicle, 50% of the moto crowd are bad drivers, while 85% of the non-moto crowd are bad drivers. Of course, there’s a much higher percentage of women in the second category, so that might be skewing the numbers a tad. But racing a motorcycle with 39 other people trying to kill you definitely makes negotiating highway traffic a walk in the park.

Complain more about aches or pains

Everyone I know that doesn’t race moto is a pussy; “I’m so sore” or “My shoulder is really talking to me” or “I’m way too hungover” on repeat. When you tell them that they are not hurt, and playing through the pain will honestly help them, they don’t believe you. In their head, they physically cannot do anything. They live a defeatist lifestyle, so to be like them, you must also. Having an “I can’t” attitude is the foundation of a normal life.


Another Shining Example Of What Happens When NFG Goes Wrong

I feel like people see BRO as the quintessential image of NFG. They see me as this handsome, debonaire rogue who lives by no one’s rules but his own, and a character who exemplifies this devil-may-care lifestyle where caution is thrown to the dogs and life is one 5th gear wide open experience after the other. But even knowing that, I’ll say that a few test runs never hurt anybody, kids. Scope out the take-off a few times and maybe you’ll realize that the jump that you’re planning on hitting at 900mph is actually a three foot takeoff that you built like a Jersey Barrier, and you might end the day on your feet with your chick and a little position I like to call “wheelbarrow style”, rather than being relegated to covert handies in a hospital bed like certified NFG ripper Keaton Ward here. Remember Keaton, clean up is a bitch so have some tissues ready to go.

Moto Videos

BRO’s Brief Guide To Making Instagram Suck Less

The Internet was a great idea. One massive network linking people together in an incredible whirlwind of technology; a place where the greatest minds in the world can contribute information for anyone to have access to, where data can travel at light speed, and where the world can be truly connected. But, 2 billion views of “Gangnam Style” later, we are left with this – dog shit. I could go on forever, but this blog will focus on one aspect of the Internet that we all know and (used to) love: Instagram.

The IG, like the Internet, was cool at first – bad iPhone photos spruced up with a decent filter like a streetwalker after a low budget makeover. But quickly, it has morphed into a painful collection of horrendous videos, poorly-lit photos of pets or food or pets’ food, and, of course, selfies.

What can I do to make it better, you ask? Great question, inquisitive reader. First of all, be more selective with the likes and follows. Make people really earn it. If you don’t look at a moto photo and think, “Dope whip” or “awesome bar drag” or “dude, how did that guy not die”, don’t fucking like it; it is not deserving. The same goes for the follows – unoriginal content sucks, and should not get your approval. Moto pages that simply re-post other people’s stuff are a goddamn travesty (and yes, once or twice BRO has even re-posted something, but I usually try to at least put some sort of original spin on everything). But these kids think that Instagram followers are some sort of currency, and will do anything to get those numbers up, even though they mean absolutely nothing. Reward originality with a follow, even if it is only partial originality.

This final point is important, and it’s going to be tough for a lot of you to swallow (and really barely even focuses on MX). It’s something that I’m sure you are all guilty of, and even I myself cannot resist the urge sometimes. But gentlemen, we must all band together, and stop liking girls’ photos purely because we want to fuck them. I know, pretty much everything we do is with the ultimate goal of getting laid, but it needs to stop. Our never-ending quest for a trip to Fuck Town, combined with the all-too-common desperate battle for attention among females, has resulted in a cavalcade of mirror-selfies that at their core all say one thing: “Please reassure me that I’m good looking and that my life isn’t an endless series of worthless moments, each more worthless than the last.” But yet, we double-click them. It literally doesn’t even matter what is in the photo – ass, tits, or crimes against humanity – we will like it because we are thinking “Hey, maybe she’ll distinguish my “like” from the 2300 other ones and DM me asking if I’m down for a three-way with her model friend later.” She won’t, ever. Again, these girls validate themselves by number of followers, even though that number is worthless. They are essentially doing porn, except they aren’t, because porn stars actually make money. If we stop liking, the garbage will stop. Girls will be forced to be creative and thoughtful in their IGs (while also being hot because there’s no other reason to be in a photo if you’re a chick), and the world will be a better place.

Finally, stop using that app that tells you when people are unfollowing you. It is truly pathetic. Why do you care? Once again, it means nothing. People unfollow you? Good, they probably did it because your cat/lunch/face sucks and they are sick of looking at it. Take that and run with it; don’t sit there and be butt-hurt about it, be better. But again, why do you care about it so much? It is the worst form of giving a fuck since wars based on religion started.


How About This Absolute Savage Pulling A Textbook NFG Pass On A Supermini?

Love it, that’s how we do it in the Northeast. Kid’s holding you up, and your scrub game isn’t quite on point? Just hold it wide open. Vintage Carmichael stuff, really. Like the old finish at High Point, right after RC retired, and he’s on the broadcast saying “I don’t understand why these guys aren’t launching that thing. It’s free time.” Every jump on the track is a single when you’re a maniac and launching the landing 50+ feet. And what’s the end result? Pass made, pass stuck. No shot that other kid is taking that shit back. He probably pulled off; he couldn’t handle that kind of heat. More or less just had his girl stolen from him.

Moto Videos